Jessicatoyou

Great to hear you both (all three of us) had an enjoyable night😎 My nails are my current side project. I found that the fake ones beat the heck out of my real nails, the glue, taking them off, drying them out, etc., and decided I didn't really like the look that much anyway, and took too much time, so about a week ago I started my own nail rehab! Instant cuticle remover, to rehab my cuticles, Nail Rehab X which coats my nails to strengthen and nourish them, and Maximum Growth, a clear coating which hardens them to prevent them from breaking. All made by "Sally Hansen". I can already see the difference and some growth and last night was able to trim, file, buff, and recoated them. I do them every day and I keep it on 24/7, 🙋‍♀️ Hey, maybe Monday, a professional manicure? Maybe Sephora visit, too? This new girl's just gonna have fun! Jess

Hi Dee; the same for me last night, "not passable, just comfortable☺️ 10:30 am electrologist session this morning, so tons of stubble always puts a damper on being passable! There is a lot to say about "being comfortable!" Always the first thing I do when I'm home from work. Cold weather here necessitates an overcoat when out, so I always go out in my girl undergarments and forms under my boy clothes when in boy mode. Then when home I shed the boy clothes and don my wig, a comfortable top and bottom, my favorite pair of flats and I'm good to go🙋‍♀️., till I get called in again. (only working part-time on call weekdays). Usually a quick touch of eyeliner and mascara, too. For easy removal, try olive oil with cotton balls and q -tips. It's quick and thorough. Well, after my appointment today, back to Jess, out , comfortable AND passable through Monday! Yeah💇‍♀️😍 Have to grocery shop, want to walk the mall again, Macy's, Boscov's, (not to buy, although very hard for us girls not to lol) probably a lunch or dinner and maybe make another friend or two? )☺️

Dee, I didn't know whether to react with a like or a Haha; wanted to do both!💜😁 Gosh, I like your sense of humor and your outlook; don't ever loose it! But, the outfit in your photo does lookgreat on you and very comfortable, too. I too, prefer skirts or dresses over jeans mostly for the feminine feel, but I have been going out more lately in jeans and slacks because of this frigid cold (avg. temp for 2 months now has been single digits!😝) I'm getting used to them and starting to like them more, but shorts fit me terribly, have not found a pair that even comes close to either a good fit or a good look👀. My butt and hips are way to small and my upper thighs to skinny. That's gonna have to be my mission, though come spring, to find some good summer shorts! Jess

Monica, YES, I used that too before☺️. Was what my wife used and did leave a white streak. Now I use Secret Paris Rose. Mild pleasant scent and no streaks!🙋‍♀️

Dee. Thanks for that...I really enjoyed Purl😊. Put a real smile on my face. Always thought guys were kind of shallow too; probably why I never hung around them. But Purl conquered them from within, and before they had a clue they all worked together. How dumb I am, though, I missed the joke so I'm gonna have to watch it again! Haha Christy, no I don't like the smell either, actually never have! Have been only using a female scented deodorant for quite a while now, and at Sephora bought a mild perfume pen called "Woman Ralph Lauren".💇‍♀️ Not overpowering at all, I love the smell and everyone else must too because no one appears to notice even when I have to go out as "the guy that smells nice. "LOL

Hi Dee. I, too am so very happy for you. I can feel the excitement you must feel. 😊 It always helps to keep a lot of irons in the fire with future appointments. My advice, schedule them, a lot may change before October. If not you can always reschedule. When I can't get an appointment as quickly as I would like, I make sure I'm on the call list for appointments that have been cancelled, and there are probably more of those, than the ones that are kept. Learn first names and try to get to know them on a first name basis and them yours, too. Call back every few weeks and say you have an appointment but just checking if any cancellations came in that you might be able to fill. Before you know it, you'll be in.🙏 Good luck, Jess

My therapist signed off on HRT letter tonight😍🙋‍♀️❤️😲😊! I will be changing my primary care doctor to a transgender specialist tomorrow and scheduling my first appointment. Only my fourth session and would have done it sooner, but she had to complete all the assessment and paperwork required.😎

Thank you so much Dee and Emma for the awakening:; Will be working on my list, too, but will take a while; so many things were suppressed. Jess

Yes, :"We've all known each other all our lives, just never met each other." So many similarities go on and on.

First electrolysis session tonight! Well, had my first laser session last Monday and tonight my electrolysis for beard and neck hair. Christina, of Saratoga Electrolysis, worth mentioning because she was so sweet and welcoming to me!😘 I felt so out of my skin having to present as male due to the need for facial stubble, but she was so kind and really tried to make me feel comfortable, which I eventually was. Was an hour session which she added another 15 min au gratis. We booked 2 more sessions for late next week when I return from my trip. Can already tell I'm gonna have another friend🙋‍♀️.

Believe me it'll be the best you ever had...I know! ☺️

I do hope you get the opportunity to get out on your own many more times. That feeling of nervousness, fear and anxiety will quickly be replaced with peace, comfort and serenity. Before you know it you'll be driving 2 1/2 hours for that simple cup of coffee! 😊

Hi Dee. Gosh I know that feeling so well; just reading about you made me smile. 😊 By the way, you look fantastic, too. You have nothing to worry about or be fearful of. I adore your coat! Jess

Thanks, Emma. YOU have a good time tonight! Just be Emma. Everything else will fall into place😊 Jessica

Saratoga Pride is an LBGTQ group outside of my hometown but close enough that I thought it would be worthwhile to check out. I stumbled upon it from meeting Amy a few weeks ago. They were having their annual dinner last night at a small restaurant/ pub, "50 South", just outside Saratoga, NY. There was a rather small group there, about 30, less than I expected, not knowing what to expect, which also was good as it made for a more intimate setting. (I give the restaurant a 5 of 5 on the food and service, and acceptance!) I had never been to any kind of LBGTQ event or gathering before last night. I would not have been at all surprised if I had met someone there from my hometown, was well prepared if I had, but I didn't. I'm finding the more I step out as Jess now, which is more often than not, I am as comfortable, 💇‍♀️ even more so, than in a cis-male role. I never expected that so quickly, having only been stepping out for a few weeks, now. And I'm finding that most, no, just about everyone I encounter out in public seems comfortable with me, too, whether I'm just pumping my own gas, getting coffee, going to the supermarket, going through the mall, walking downtown window shopping, and yes even going to a nice restaurant by myself I've never been to. I've never been shy in engaging with anyone and I think people quickly figure out I'm non threatening and that may have something to do with it. I noticed at the banquet, however, that the different groups there, i.e. the L, the G, the T, mostly clustered together, not all, but it was very difficult for the most part to strike a conversation and keep it going with everyone. Hmmm, have to think more on that one and figure how to better break the ice next time. Still met quite a few good people, though, and I'm looking forward to following up with them in the near future. 😊 Jessica 😍

Ditto

Well, the pace is continuing and seems to be just falling into my lap since I have shed any fears (no, that is the wrong word)...reservations, about getting out there. I went to the same church this past Sunday that I found 2 weeks ago. They all were so happy to see me; and I was happy to see them. Stayed again an hour after for coffee fellowship and had some real good conversations with more people, much less inhibited and guarded in divulging who I was, where I came from and where I'm going. So nice to be who you are and not put on a façade. Ran into Amy, talked to her at length. She is an absolutely beautiful person; very soft-spoken. I noticed her skin, hair, facial features, her manner, her speech, her hair, her hands, and you just know she has worked on it and succeeded in portraying how she feels. Anyway, just so has it, this Friday is the regional annual LGBTQ dinner; Amy told me about it, and I booked my reservation and am going. Yesterday, I had my first of 6 face and neck hair laser treatments, (every 4 weeks) for my beard and neck. Did a pretty good job, I think. You could feel it but not too bad overall. Had to grit my teeth a little doing above my lip and under my nose. Afterwards felt sunburned for about 5 hours. Got the moisturizers she suggested and have been using them often since. Haven't shaven since then and don't seem to be any black hairs or shadow a day later. Normally it would be real heavy by now, black stubble everywhere. There are a few dark hairs, but she explained they where "zapped" and would work their way out of my pores. There where quite a few last night, but hardly any now. The only thing left are the light hairs which I think was probably 20 % of my beard growth. So I called my electrologist and she's going do a full hour treatment next week, instead of just an "introduction". Therapist today had to cancel for tonight; another snowstorm expecting 15 inches and already coming down heavy. Was looking forward to it; I'm really getting to like her. She's pretty sharp. Let me in on a regional insurance company that they've worked with that covers just about everything, even cosmetic procedures. Mine covers next to nothing. I just successfully signed up tp switch effective March 1, so the pace is sure to pick up soon after that. 😃 Jessica

The final day of the Event, even though I'm staying till tomorrow morning. Slept real late for me again (till 8:00) ; up and at-em; gotta make breakfast in time, and they stop serving at 11. Got down to the lobby by 10 and sad to see so many people checking out and leaving.😢 So headed right for breakfast and was cheered up immediately! Joined Andrea, who I loved and mentioned before, and her new business partner. They do electrolysis and laser. Spent an hour and a half talking, not about that, just girlfriend talk? What I always dreamed it would be like talking to a "girlfriend", and she talked to me like a girlfriend. I said before Linda coaxed me to get out and dance, well Andrea kept me dancing ...such a fun person😃. Workshops today were mostly geared towards families and the kids going through this. Nice to see people taking the effort to understand but sad to see attendance has dropped quite a bit. Still hope a lot of families hold together and get much stronger through their difficulties; I believe strongly that family is the foundation of society. Spent most of the afternoon packing , again I brought too much, much too much, next time I'll know. Only left unpacked what I'd need the next day. Of course, just had to get out again, so I found the Solomon Pond mall, bought foundation primer from Sephora, and a new bra. On my way back, Starbucks for coffee, and almost time for Super Bowl. Freshened up and down to the lounge just in time for kick-off. Very few people there, a dozen? Most were not connected to the convention, and you can guess what team everybody thought would get the trophy. New England did, and I got my trophy, too. The time of my life, a meaning to my life. One of those there was Cheryl, the Organizer of the First Event. And I got a chance to thank her for all she did for me. I told her she must be proud of herself and should be, and we will see each other again. ❤️

Wish you all could have been there with me; actually in my mindset you all were! Thanks😘

You just made my day, Monica!!! I'm in the planning stage of making a pit stop at Keystone on my way to a trip to Florida. ☺️, Hope I can pull it off. Jessica

Saturday morning, slept till 7! Ugh. Got to jump up and fly getting ready in time to help at The Closet clothing boutique. Need to go to breakfast first, too, Always meet somebody new there and really look forward to it and enjoy it. Forgot to mention, yesterday, met Erin at breakfast. She seemed kind of shy , so I asked her to join me. (I hate to sit alone...most of the time). From northern Maine, not a place where she can be out easily. An hour talking over breakfast and yet another friend! We hooked up to talk several times more the rest of the Event. Made it to the Closet, and had fun, rehanging garments, helping people find their sizes and also helped a few find outfits that really looked great on them! ☺️. Went to lunch, met Greg who was holding a workshop, not transitioning, just likes to be himself? Herself? Also my age, from Connecticut; just published a book and when I find his/her card I'll let you all know. (no worries if I mis-gendered...he/she wont care!). Afternoon wanted to do more workshops, so I scheduled 3, from 1pm-5pm. The first, "There is VALUE in Financial awareness" was a very good presentation, by a young accountant, but not too relevant to me being in business my whole life. The second, "The Power of Voice" was well worth it! The biggest thing I took away from was just speak from your heart, not your chest or your head as many suggest. The heart is the center of your soul and your best sound will emanate from there. Did some exercises speaking from the heart, that's what I do out in public now all the time. I don't really Try to reach a pitch anymore, it just seems to be getting better naturally. I feel comfortable with it in public and everyone I talk to seems to be, too. The Last, " MTF Surgical options", I found I already knew quite a bit about. Now, rush, rush, to get ready for the banquet and the cocktail hour 6-7. Dressed in my gown for the first time, really worked hard on getting dolled up just right,💇‍♀️ LOL Down there at 6:45, and mingled a bit The banquet tables sat 8 and found one in the center not right up front, but real close center. Four people were already seated that I didn't know so I decided, hey, I could always use more friends, right? By the time dinner started 3 others I already met joined us. The food was excellent, and the service impeccable. The keynote speaker, CeCe Mcdonald was very good, too, and, after getting past the activist, political aspects her message, I felt it was very relevant! Don't back down, stand your ground, insist on your right to be who you are, get out there and be seen. After the banquet, my friend Linda, tried to teach me how to pose for photos, taking a few dozen pics from my cell phone. Sorry girls, need more lessons yet before I post any here, HAHA. Never thought of it, but I should of gotten photos with everyone I met; it would have helped me to remember their names better. The rest of the night more dancing. 😎 Jessica

Well had a ton going on Friday. When I came down for breakfast, the attendance had grown to 8-900, I had heard. All types of real people, flamboyant, discreet, flashy, cis-gender, bi-gender, cross dressers, transitioning in all different stages, many final, many their first time out, (like me). Young, senior, ( I was gonna say old, but none of us are old), shy, outgoing, all different in many ways but we were the same our whole lives, just hadn't met each other. We were about to, though! I was surprised at the age group, for some reason I expected much younger, but most were my age...whoops...here I go thinking I'm younger than I am again! (40's -60 for clarification.) I expected mostly 20's to 40's. A full slate of workshops were available today but there was a major glitch in my planned schedule. When I tried to make my first therapist appointment 2 weeks before the Event I specifically told the coordinator I would be out of town that week. Well the therapist called me the Friday before and said she had an opening today at 2pm. Made a split second decision and said I'd make the arrangements and meet her.....so I only attended one workshop, non-surgical feminization and beautification techniques, made a quick round through the job fair, I was dressed in a woman's business suit, then hopped in my car at 11:20 for a 2 1/2 hour trip to meet my therapist for the first time (still as Jessica) then drive back and was back to the Hotel by 5:30pm. One hour to freshen up, and change into a nice dress, for the last half hour of the cocktail hour before the Fashion show. The Fashion show was great! Never been to one before, especially as Jessica. I was in heaven, I love fashion, a good look...always have. Scoped out some seats at the runway, they were reserved, but the group that reserved them had some people not show up, so..... I made more friends and joined them. I never sit in the back; there's so much more to see when you're out front. It was a college group with their teacher (advisor?) who booked an overnight stay for the First Event. Yes we all became friends, instantly. (Had to keep reminding myself I'm not in college anymore, haha.) The Show was great, felt like it was being put on just for me! Many event models mixed with professional from a modeling agency and all put on a great show. Their were some children, too; and they were the best! You could see it in their eyes how proud they were to be able be themselves.. made you cry wishing we were that fortunate back then at their age.💕. Well afterwards, back to the courtyard and lounge for more DJ Greg again. Again, many, many, more people to meet and get to know. Andrea, a real neat cis-female (vendor at the event), I won't forget her. Mike, an attorney, Karen, an army reservist active and transitioned, who also speaks to groups on transgender issues, Mellissa, who loves 15th, 16th, 17th or 18th century vintage dress, (she was also in the show). Then there's Sarina, Sabrina, Porsha, on and on. So many more names I can't remember, but I know I'll meet them again. Well by now this ole lady's been pushing the envelope; it's 1:30 am and I volunteered a month ago to work "The Closet" which is the clothing boutique from 9am to noon Saturday morning. Good night 🌃

Thanks, doesn't bother me at all, too. Funny both Linda and my therapist asked me if it my hair was my natural😎 And, while I was waiting in line to cash out a woman in JC Penny in Boston said she loved my highlights. Also, the plus side, is I can just take it off to just detangle and brush! ☺️ Your friend, Jessica

Thursday was when people were arriving in groves. I would estimate that attendance grew from 100 or more to well over 600. Some workshops were scheduled; I attended "Work it Girl! Posing to perfection." and "About Face The Alchemy of Make-up". Both were well presented, I learned a lot that I use now. I think my make-up has improved ten-fold from before. Well worth it.💇‍♀️ after dinner, socializing in the lounge and lobby until the Dance party with DG Gregg. Notably, met Linda and became instant friends. Had much in common except I would guess she's a little younger. She tries to visit one Conference each year; her wife is cool with that; is on her tenth or so year, but the amazing thing is she could pass 24/7 365 days a year. Tall, sleek, pretty, (and she confessed to me and I to her, bald. Beautiful wit, outgoing personality, and lots of fun to be around. The only time she is out is at conventions. Hooked up again later and at the dance party and she coaxed me to get out on the floor. Now I haven't danced in many, many, many years. Never really enjoyed it, always felt too rigid, out of place. Well let me tell you I melted right onto the dance floor, had the time of my life, fell right into my skin, liberated!! Met and had great conversations with another few dozen new friends into the night .

Haha , good news today down to 1 1/2 hours to get ready Will be able to cut it to an hour after laser is done next week😍