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Everything posted by MonicaPz

  1. MonicaPz

    Still alive!

    Bree, I am so glad you're back!
  2. MonicaPz

    On Turning Sixty . . .

    Looking back, I accepted my birthdays quite happily and proudly except for the last year before the decade turned and the first year of the new decade. For instance, I grieved turning 19, as I knew this was the last year I could call myself a teenager, and grieved a little more at 20, as I knew I was not only no longer a teenager, but never will be again. This happened at ages 29 and 30, as I knew I was leaving "young adulthood" behind. Again, at ages 39 and 40, I knew I was definitely middle aged. At 50, I realized I was medically a senior. And now, at 59 turning to 60, I definitely was a senior! Sometimes, I am unexpectedly reminded that I am getting older, such as the time I visited a beautiful library in downtown Brooklyn, that was filled with young people. Finally I found a seat, among a large group of teenagers, and I settled down to my work. Noticed adults pacing up and down between the tables. Finally I got up and asked the librarian if it was OK to sit where I was, and she answered that I was sitting among high school students taking their SAT's! The adults walking around them where proctors! Apologized, and moved my stuff. This scene reminded me so much of myself when I was their age, and how different I am now to what I was then. Somehow, I seem to see my life by decades. 0 - 10 Child 10 - 20 Preteen and teen 20 - 30 Young adult 30 - 40 Young middle-aged 40 - 50 Older middle-aged 50 - 60 Young senior Interestingly, the last few years I dream about being 18 - 22 years old and not using mobility aids (a cane)! In my case, I feel like in my early 40's, except when I am reminded that I am 60 when I look in the mirror or notice I suffer more aches and pains than in the past. Recently I had what I call, "The Linear Dream." At the time I was 58. There was a marked linear line, marked off by feet. At the other end of the linear line, was my two year old great niece, standing, facing me, at the two foot mark. In my case, I was at the sixty foot mark, having stepped forward to the fifty-eight foot mark, as I was fifty-eight years old. Know the dream was about age, but, beyond that, I do not know what it means. Somehow, I feel more comfortable about aging, when I think in terms of "the circle of life," rather than linearly. Here are some of the changes I have observed in myself due to aging: Fear of being "out of date." Fear of being alone (dying alone). Don't have as much a sense of purpose as I used to. Can't be as much "hands on" as I used to (accepting physical projects) More "word finding" difficulties. Having trouble with spelling and grammar. Chronic pain. Can't run. Less balance. Feel "underfoot" by society at large. More spiritual. Less eye/hand coordination. Difficulty learning new material. Feel less confident in finding a partner. Don't feel needed by my family. Can't walk far. Difficulty hearing with background noise. Intermittent tremor. Greater difficulty losing weight and keeping it off. Can't see as well, requiring a magnifier as well as glasses. Dry and thinning skin. Dry scalp and hair falling out at the scalp, as well as thinning and finer hair (don't mention the gray!) "Age spots." Dry mouth and eyes. Easy bruising. May I ask how you have coped with aging?
  3. MonicaPz

    On Turning Sixty . . .

    Dear Emma, My mindset is like that of a 40 year old, but my body tells me different. It is like a conflict. It might have to do with that I live in a senior apartment complex. Saw your picture with your friends, and I feel I would fit in with that crowd! Your friend, Monica
  4. MonicaPz


    Dear Emma, You girls look great! Also, you look like you really fit in, as in, say, "one of the girls!" Monica
  5. MonicaPz

    This world is destroying my family

    Dear Hazel Eyes, Thank you for a wonderful post. When I was growing up, there was terrible sibling rivalry, that spread out to the school, as I had the greatest problem with my youngest brother, who was only 14 months older. So much school bullying starts out in the home as sibling rivalry that is out of control! Yours truly, Monica
  6. MonicaPz


    We have a lot of minors and parents here, even though most don't post. What you have to say is important. Please reconsider. Am sure you will understand, now that we have explained ourselves more clearly.
  7. MonicaPz

    This world is destroying my family

    Dear Emma, Lived in Tampa Bay, Florida, (Southeast) for 35 years, and I found them very accepting and welcoming, more so than Brooklyn, NY, and upstate NY (Northeast). Think this is because Tampa Bay, Florida, is very transitory and many people are self-employed, while in Brooklyn, NY, I lived in a mostly Orthodox Jewish community, which was very trans and homophobic, while upstate NY, most good employers are very trans and homophobic, (even when they say they're not) and if you valued your job, you are closeted. Fascinating how the US varies by region. Of course, it's a big country. Your friend, Monica
  8. Dear Friends, Beg EVERYONE to check out Mike's link. Be prepared to spend some time there . . . Your friend, Monica
  9. MonicaPz

    This world is destroying my family

    Dear Friends, Highly recommend the National Geographic Discussion Guide for Teachers and Parents and the January 2017 Special Issue of National Geographic Magazine on the Shifting Landscape of Gender to EVERYONE! Also, please check out Emma's links on the Megyn Kelly TODAY Gender Cool Project. Thank you, Emma, for bringing this to our attention. Yours truly, Monica
  10. Dear Hazel Eyes, Usually, a woman who wears a men's size shoe, wears a women's size shoe, two sizes larger. For example, I wear a women's size 11 1/2 and a men's size 9 1/2. Am a cisgender woman who wears men's Air Nike 360's because of arthritis in my feet. Yours truly, Monica
  11. MonicaPz

    This world is destroying my family

    Dear Christy, Your advice is spot-on, but I meant YouTube for the parents, NOT the children. Am very sorry I did not make this more clear. Yours truly, Monica
  12. MonicaPz

    This world is destroying my family

    Dear Jeff, May I add to Emma's and Mike's excellent comments that there are excellent stories on YouTube, if you would go to www.YouTube.com, and Google, "Transgender Children." There you will find some excellent stories about children who are transgender and their parents. Also, there is a PBS channel that has some excellent programming on this topic, called World Channel. Their website is www.WorldChannel.org. Please stay in touch and feel free to ask questions. We are here for you. Yours truly, Monica
  13. MonicaPz


    Dear Christy, Have experienced mild PTSD (diagnosed by a psychiatrist) because I almost was homeless in NYC six years ago. Was given 3 weeks notice and every day I was looking at rooms but they were all filthy in horrible overcrowded conditions. This was precipitated by the father of the autistic man I was caring for suddenly died and his elderly mother wanted to care for him. Also, I was having serious back trouble. Also, as a cisgender Lesbian woman who did a lot of babysitting growing up, I had the opportunity to observe young children, both boys and girls, experimenting with dressing/acting as the opposite sex. Rolled with it, and allowed them to do it, although some of the parents weren't too happy about it, but my hunch was good, because they did it once or twice, and moved on to other interests. By the way, all these children turned out to be cisgender and heterosexual. Must confess I explored it myself (I was jealous that my brothers could pee standing up!) and, like the children I babysat for, soon moved on to other interests. Was a "tomboy," but I feel this had little to do with me being a Lesbian, as I witnessed many heterosexual women have a "tomboy" phase growing up. Your friend, Monica
  14. MonicaPz

    The Talk.

    Dear Christy and MichelleLea, Think what Christy is describing is going through her second adolescence, this time as a woman. Your friend, Monica
  15. MonicaPz

    New Beginnings

    Dear MichelleLea, Looking back in my life, one of the jobs I was best at, I really didn't enjoy (bookkeeping). Interestingly, despite that, I seemed to enjoy the company of bookkeepers. Am very detail oriented. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you explore career options. Yours truly, Monica
  16. MonicaPz

    Technical help needed in posting photos

    Dear Ellen, May I ask what year your Nikon camera was made, and what model is it? Emma gave you excellent advice, but she may be able to help you more if you give her the above information. Love your models! Your friend, Monica
  17. MonicaPz

    Trying Times

    Dear MichilleLea and Emma, Agree with Emma that you need to build you experience and confidence level before leading others. As for Rich's wife, a great preventive of urinary tract infections is cranberry juice, and if you don't like it, there are gel caps with cranberry juice concentrate. Especially women, like you, need to try to prevent urinary tract infections, as they are potentially dangerous. Sometimes when men are under stress, especially involving the wife, simple supportive friendship can grow into romantic involvement. If you can, I would try to be as busy doing your job and making money that you desperately need, to avoid being "too available" for him. Your friend, Monica
  18. MonicaPz

    Lying Low

    Dear MichelleLea, Am sorry you got a bad cold, but colds and flus are going around. Got sick Sunday, June 3, in the evening and I am just starting to move again. Lived in Florida (Tampa Bay - Clearwater, St. Petersburg and Tampa - Pinellas and Hillsborough Counties) for 35 years, and despite the beautiful weather, I got my share of colds and flus! A lot of it has to do with HUMIDITY and ICE COLD air conditioning. A lot of people move from their cars (air conditioned, usually), into the heat, and, say, run into ice cold air conditioning, such as the mall or work, and get a chill. Even up here in New York, as I find myself popping in and out of malls, stores and restaurants with friends, I seem to perspire and get body odor. One thing I try to do is bring a light jacket or sweater with me, to prevent chills from A/C. Hope you are feeling well, soon. Your friend, Monica
  19. MonicaPz

    Betwixt and Between

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, It takes time to ferret out others' INTENTIONS. Ideally it would be great if everyone strived for a "win - win" situation. As for me, I would take every class offered to me to train and cross-train. Just watch to be sure he doesn't have a hidden agenda and that he treats you respectfully. Your friend, Monica
  20. MonicaPz

    New Routine

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, You are so wise to think of your eating habits BEFORE you develop a weight issue. You also do not want to retain water due to excess salt or burn out or fatigue your adrenal glands. As for me, I eat a lot of prepackaged salads (to help me with portion control) and enjoy broiled chicken and salmon with it. My weakness is eating out, especially with friends, so I try to make good choices. Reminds me of when I was living in a private men's college dormitory, and I reminded them that they will not be so active as they get older, and can count on burning it off. Mentioned it especially to the football linebacker, who I reminded that he could not count on a NFL career (average football player has a 3 year career) and needed to plan on a regular job that he is getting his education for, which is unlikely to demand the physical exertion on the football field. It makes me laugh how I was on a first name basis with the pizza delivery guys and gals, and how some parents were so concerned with their sons' eating habits, they were dropping off salads, and other healthy eats. Trying to lose weight slow and steady as you girls are doing! Your friend, Monica
  21. MonicaPz

    Planning ahead

    Dear MichelleLea, You are wise to think of your future while keeping expenses down. Not saying to live like a nun, but to make a game out of living within your means. A friend of mine and I love to shop and eat out, and we amaze ourselves and others how far we can stretch our money using coupons and choosing our stores that we shop in wisely. We hit the thrift shops and the clearance aisles. Also, it is becoming standard that people are growing businesses behind their corporate jobs. Have a friend who has a laundromat when she and her husband work for a big corporation. Another couple who works for the same corporation owns rental property all over the county, including two private college dormitories. Wishing you the best, Your friend, Monica
  22. MonicaPz

    Why Stress Right

    Dear Michele, Please let me respond . . . My looks - I focus on finding my voice, both physically and emotionally. Am a woman of size, so I work on feeling that people of all sizes and shapes are beautiful! 😉 Will I be loved for whom I am? - Always am seeking having a PURPOSE, that is, what can I contribute to my loved ones and community? 😊 Does my life matter? - Of course, your life and mine DOES matter, otherwise our Higher Power would not permit us to be on Earth. 😇 Do others like me? - Focus on having a FEW good, quality friends instead of winning a popularity contest. As for my family, I consider the T/LGBT community my family. The painful reality is that I can not make anyone like or love me. Even if I could, I wouldn't even try. 😄 Take your time to FIRST find a supportive therapist, support group and save up to attend the nearest transgender conference. Likely, your cup size will be one cup smaller than your mother's and sisters. 😯 With the right surgeon, your vagina will be indistinguishable from that of a cisgender woman's, so much so, that a gynecologist wouldn't be able to tell the difference! Have seen the vaginas of two post open transwomen (not sexually), and I could not tell the difference! 😷 As you get older, you will be less obsessed about these things, as I have! 😊 Michele, don't forget you have many friends right here, and you'll make even more (face to face) friends as you gain self-confidence. Don't forget you are going through a second (female) adolescence as you transition. 😃 Your friend, Monica
  23. MonicaPz

    Inauthenticity vs. Authenticity

    Dear Emma, Believe that living authentically means living a MINDFUL life as continuously as possible. We are constantly evolving, so what was authentic 10 years ago is not likely authentic TODAY, but hopefully was authentic 10 years ago. As for me, I try to be centered as possible at all times, although I am not always successful! 😉 Your friend, Monica
  24. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, Love shopping for clothes with a girlfriend as I feel two heads are better than one! Even if my sense of style is different than hers, I would like her input, after I shared with her what I am trying to achieve and why, and vice versa. Your friend, Monica
  25. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear Emma, Very well said. Great advice no matter who you are! As for myself, I try to go for a TAILORED look. Two dear friends from Philadelphia, PA, send me wonderful T/LGB magazines that I learn a lot from. When I plan on visiting them, I hope I will have saved up some money to buy at some of the stores/boutiques featured in the magazines. Your friend, Monica