MonicaPz

Dear Christi and Charli, As promised, the website for Air bnb is: https://www.airbnb.com/s/New-York--NY The website looked really good, worth checking out! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Christie and Charli, Here are some resources that I recommend for free/inexpensive activities in NYC: http://www.nyc-arts.org http://www.events12.com/newyork/august/ http://www.timeout.com/newyork/events-calendar http://www.nycinsiderguide.com http://www.nycgo.com/free http://www.newyork.com/articles/attractions/free-things-to-do-in-nyc-in-summer-2015-65512/ http://www.clubfreetime.com/new-york-city-nyc/free-events-things-to-do/today/activities http://www.timessquarenyc.org/events/index.aspx#.VcpeRvlViko http://www.newyorkpass.com/For-Free http://www.nyc-arts.org/collections/35/free-museum-days-or-pay-what-you-wish Highly recommend the US $80.00 pass, as it will allow you to get past lines. In NYC, because of the crowds, your TIME IS MONEY, so don't think waiting in long lines for a "free" event will save you money . . . because some "free" events are on your NYC pass, but the advantage will be that you will go to the head of the line. Will get you the website for Air bnb, because the hotels in NYC are PROHIBITIVE! The owners of Air bnb are very knowledgeable about the city, and they will help you plan your days to make the most of them. Will write again soon with information about air bnb. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Michele, Boy, did I really need to hear that! Feel I am being pressured to attend another family reunion (went to my first in decades last year), which I feel is very homophobic and toxic. All the Lesbians and Gaymales live on the other coast! Hate being the only Lesbian there, with the exception of a deeply closeted, married Lesbian cousin! Had a very toxic relationship with both of my parents and siblings, and I would like to encourage everyone to keep an open mind, as people CAN change, but to be very careful about allowing themselves to be victimized! Have to remember my REAL family is my TLGB family! Your sister, Monica

Dear Roxanne and Christie, A transwoman friend decades ago turned me on to Roaman's and Woman Within whose tall size clothes and shoes (up to size 13) fit many transwomen. Their customer service are excellent towards everyone. Highly recommend the paper catalog as well as signing up for their Internet catalogs. Their websites are: http://www.roamans.com http://www.womanwithin.com Happy shopping! Your friend, Monica

Christie, I really like your picture from work!

Dear Charli, Also am fascinated by lighting. Loved visiting lighting stores in Brooklyn and Manhattan. The autistic man I cared for was also into lighting, so he gave me a great excuse to visit all kinds of lighting stores, when he got away from me and I had to go looking for him. The managers of lighting stores were ALWAYS very kind in helping me find him, and I gave them my name, phone and address to all of them, because I did not want them to call the police to find his family (me). Thanks to him, I got to know many lighting stores in Manhattan and Brooklyn! By the way, the police in both Florida and NYC were very good about helping me find him, although I was lucky enough to beat them to it almost every time! LOL! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Karen, Love that lavender background and, even though I am not into tattoos, that blue flower tattoo, too! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Lisa, Am shocked that my sister in law stated she was "too busy" to make new friends, and that she has too many friends already. It has been my experience that I always have room to make new friends! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Karen, I thought that was adorable, two bff's buying each other bff charms! There was a recent study of teenagers, one group who had NO friends, another group who had a FEW friends, and the third group that had MANY friends. The group that had no friends, had many difficulties in life, while the groups that had a few friends and many friends, fared much better, and the group with many friends fared only SLIGHTLY better than the group that had a few friends. The upshot of all of this was that it was important to have friends, period. How many does not matter. Recently, a neighbor and I sat outside for a half hour, and she picked my brain about my planned move. A few days later, she caught me at the Subway Sandwich Shop, and she picked my brain further. I promised I would write down the answers. She used the restroom first, and I watched her things, and I asked her to do the same for me as she exited the restroom. When I came out of the restroom, she was gone, without even saying goodbye. This did not hurt me, as I share information to all who asks, (she asked about a dentist and about Kingston), because I knew she was an acquaintance. It is important to know the difference between an "Internet friend," "light acquaintance," "good acquaintance," and friend. An Internet friend can drop out of your life at any time, without explanation, a light acquaintance knows you by sight but not by name, saying "hello," a good acquaintance will sit down with you if they happen to come across you, and know you by name and a friend knows your first, last name, address and telephone number. Many have a lover with no friends at all. Realize that it is harder to make friends after graduating post secondary school. This is true of lovers, also. But we should not despair, as opportunities to make friends and find lovers do present themselves throughout our lives. Certain communities are more amenable to making friends and finding lovers, and we should be aware of that. Have seen people shrivel up and die due to communities that were unfriendly. Karen, I am glad to see you opening up like a flower! Feel your best friend's husband should respect her more by being clean and sober, as he should realize how lucky he is to have her! Your friend, Monica

Charli, love your photos, as I am an architecture and outdoor sculpture fan!

Christie, interestingly, I do that, too. I state a goal to all those around me, so that I would feel more obliged to carry it through!

Dear Tara, Am very sorry about your failed surgery. Beg everyone to check a surgeon's website for before/after pictures, patient references and consider THREE doctors (a second and third opinion), not just one, because often this kind of surgery is permanent. A good bed side manner does not mean a good surgeon. This is where dialogue with our brothers and sisters is ESSENTIAL! Yours truly, Monica

Charli, I love your photo! You have beautiful skin and hair!

Dear Eve, Chuckled when you mentioned a leather mini-skirt. Decades ago, in the 70's, I bought a beige suede leather mini-skirt, but because my parents were ultra-conservative (I was wearing my dresses six inches below my knees! LOL!), I could only wear it at home, even though all the other girls were wearing mini-skirts at school. This was in upstate New York (Wappingers Falls). It is amazing, even in a city like NYC, that there IS a dress code for how ladies should dress! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Friends, Growing up, I had school clothes, and when I returned home, play clothes, which I dressed like one of my brothers. At night, I had night wear. On Saturdays, it was play clothes, and on Sundays, where I had church clothes and went home to play clothes. When I became a grown woman, with my own place, I have my out and about town clothes, and as soon as I enter the door of my apartment, I strip down to my underwear. In the winter, I strip down to my bed clothes. There is a closet by my front door that I keep a nice house coat, so that I would be presentable, say, should the UPS man or woman comes to deliver a package. Have not lived together with a partner, so I am not sure how I would be in that case. My partners (including my beloved) and I, whom I never lived with together, always dressed our best in the presence of one another, even when spending the night. Karen, in my opinion, most women, Straight and Gay, are like you, both as a single, and in a relationship. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Christie and Karen, The fact the surgeon has offices in NYC (I am assuming Manhattan) and LA, says it all! Monica

Karen, that's very generous of you!

Dear Karen, Feel strongly that surgeons that do SRS should have volunteers both at the office and at their hospital to give support to their patients. Your friend, Monica

Dear Christie Anne, I LOVE your name! Thank you for the link to the NJ name change paperwork . . . Your friend, Monica

Dear Warren, Am very large chested myself (40 J cup, yep, that's right, 40 J cup!) and only my conservative view of surgery stops me from getting them removed (not because I am transsexual), but because they are so irritating! My suggestion you look at other surgeons (on the Internet) was for your own edification, not to meet them. Just to look at the pictures on their websites and see how top surgery can vary. By the way, out of curiosity, I DID look at various surgeons' top surgery pictures, and find little variation, in all due respect to surgeons' skill. This is VERY IMPORTANT as you will live with it for LIFE. Realize you are frustrated, but this is one step in your becoming a man (remember, you are ALREADY a man, just in the wrong body!) Please keep us posted. Your friend, Monica

Dear Eve., Thanks to you, I have learned the commonalities and differences between the U.S. and Great Britain and Europe, in general and when it comes to TLGB issues. If it is any comfort to you, lately I have seen few or none comments to my blog posts, as well as that of others, both U.S.-based and from overseas. The moderators here are working hard to make TGGuide a kinder, gentler and more supportive website. Please check back occasionally to see if we make progress, hopefully we will make it worthwhile for you to return. Your friend, Monica

Dear Warren, Am so happy for you about your new job! Also love your Indian necklace! Please remember this is SURGERY, and I beg you to get THREE opinions before proceeding, even if your mind is made up, and you probably will have to go out of town for the third opinion. The second and third opinion will give you an idea of how good the surgeon you choose will be. Hopefully, your surgeon has before and after pictures, preferably on their website. If I were you, I would visit the websites of other surgeons from all over the U.S., and even the world, even though you have no intention of visiting them, to give you an idea of WHAT a surgeon can do, and to give you a baseline of excellence from which to judge the surgeons in your locality. Know you have a good head on your shoulders, and that you will choose well. Your friend, Monica

Interesting that the quiz was written in 1998, and is so accurate in 2015, 17 years later!

Eve, I consider good manners a "social lubricant," that helps others get along. Some cultures encourage good manners more than others. Sure do hope foreign embassies educate and encourage their employees in this, along with the specifics of what foreign cultures consider "good manners"!

Karen, I just took the quiz and I came up Androgyne. It described me to a 'T'. Still feel I am a "mid-butch," which they may call "Classic Butch," although that wasn't one of their choices. Presently, I dress more feminine and have a more feminine haircut in order to get along with my family and the community. Have been described by friends as butch on the outside and fem on the inside! In my opinion, I was raised in a traditional family, and I think my friends misunderstand my "old fashioned" behavior. Think "Classic Fem" is also known as "mid-fem." My beloved was a mid-fem. Highly recommend everyone who identifies as a Lesbian to take the quiz, because it does give you a lot of self-insight!