MonicaPz

Dear Jessica,

Am so glad you reached out to so many others, because often it is so painful to sit alone surrounded by so many people!

Volunteering helps you to be at the CENTER of things, and I recommend it even for first timers!

Yours truly,

Monica

Dear Jessica,

Am so glad you had a great experience, and I hope it is the first of many!

Like you, I agree most strongly that the nuclear and extended family, in all its forms, is the foundation of society. Without strong family units, a society can't stand for long.

Really admire you for making the most of First Event!

Yours truly,

Monica

Dear Jessica and Christy,

Thanks for not saying "old," but "senior," instead. 

Am 61, but pass for 50, even late 40's. Feel I have a mindset of a 40 year old.

Never have been to a live fashion show. Almost went to one at Fantasia Fair in Provincetown, MA, but I got sick at the last minute and I had to retire early.

Looking forward to attending a live fashion show in a month at the Keystone Gender Conference, and I will make sure I don't overeat beforehand!  🤢

Jessica, enjoy!  💄 Yours truly,

Monica

Dear Jessica,

You and your friend Linda would be surprised how many cisgender women deal with baldness (usually receding hairlines, bald spots and general thinning of the hair!) Me included on all three forms of balding in women!! 

Your friend,

Monica

Dear Jessica,

You are going to make life-long friends at gender conferences. 

Hope this is the first of many!

Yours truly,

Monica

Dear Jessica,

You may be experiencing "blue fog," which often happens at the end of a gender conference.

It will pass.

Over time, "blue fogs," will become less frequent.

Yours truly,

Monica

Dear Frank and Friends,

Whether you groom your own nails or have it done at the salon, be sure to practice good nail care daily.

Check for chipping and breakage daily, use nail conditioner regularly, and file and buff your nails as well.

Be aware your diet can impact your nails as well as health issues, such as low thyroid (thinning and chipping), so observe your nails regularly.

Yours truly,

Monica

Dear Friends,

Am a cisgender Lesbian, and depending how I feel and the task at hand, I will "present" differently. Think EVERYONE is like this.

Your friend,

Monica

Dear MichelleLea,

Glad you responded so thoughtfully, as I try to answer all questions that come my way, too.

Wish you said, "my non-curvy 6' body," as you at as much a lady as I am. Know many cisgender ladies, short and tall, WITHOUT curves, and, they, too, are as much ladies as you and I.

Your friend,

Monica

Dear Blackangel and Emma,

Rejoice that you both not only survived, but THRIVED.

Am sorry that such people could be allowed to become parents.

Sadly, this is much more common than people want to acknowledge.

Blackangel, I beg you to get counseling about this, as these people still seem to have a lot of control over you.

Your friend,

Monica

Please look for transgender support groups. There should be one no more than a couple of hours drive from you.

There is a list of transgender support groups by state on the TGGuide home page.

Also, transgender conferences are a great resource. Again, there should be one within a day's drive from where you live. Again, they are listed on TGGuide's home page.

While I'm at it, the members of TGGuide are of all ages, are kind, supportive, and knowledgeable.

Please consider starting by reading all the Forums and Blogs. Feel free to leave a comment or question. When you are comfortable, having your own Blog, inviting others to comment, will encourage other members to reach out to you.

We are here for you!

Monica

Dear Christy,

Am being sarcastic here. Live in a very trans and homophobic city where it would be dangerous if I literally did what I suggested here.

Am sorry for the misunderstanding.

Yours,

Monica

Dear Christy,

YES, I agree we must vote with our dollars!

Would like to see these businesses display the trans and rainbow flag decals by their doors! 😇 Thus far, only ONE business in my hometown of 15,500 display the rainbow decal, and NOT ONE the trans decal! 😥😢

So many businesses support the T/LGB Pride marches in June, yet they do not go beyond that, even displaying trans and homophobia in their business practices and treatment of customers.

Thinking of buying some decals, challenging businesses to cut the hypocrisy and put their money where their mouth is! 😁

Yours truly,

Monica

Dear Mike,

It is sad that benign differences can provoke bullying.

Am shocked I am seeing senior on senior bullying.  That took me totally by surprise.

Have been to five  adult/senior social programs, and because they were small, compared to where I live, there was no bullying, until the last one, which catered to the wealthy.  When I was bullied by a retired engineer (there are several in this group), I spoke to the director upon the second incident, because I did not want this behavior to become ingrained, telling her if this continued, I was going to quit.  Even one of the staff members joined in, saying, that I  thought  the facility was a restaurant.  

Was prepared to ask our social worker if I could obtain two parakeets and not have to pay the $250.00 nonrefundable pet fee, like my neighbor, if I could get my doctor to write a letter on her letterhead stating I needed the birds for my physical and mental health.  Still may go that route.

What concerns me is that the school shooters of today will be shooting up senior centers in their old age . . . I am amazed this has not happened yet.

How are country has become so emotionally and physically violent puzzles me.

Yours truly,

Monica

Dear MichelleLea,

PFAFF (I believe it is a German made sewing machine) is the best sewing machine for home use.

Sewing machines have really evolved since my mother's 1930's Singer sewing machine!

Yours truly,

Monica

Dear Christy, Emma and Jessica,

My history with being bullied started with growing up with intense sibling rivalry with my youngest brother, who is 14 months my senior, and we still have serious problems as adults to this day.

Seems like it spilled over to the neighborhood and elementary school from the home.  My parents did nothing, thinking it was funny.  I actually went around to friendly adults asking for them to adopt me!

It was just as severe in junior high/middle school as in elementary school.  At home, in the neighborhood, I became a loner, and bonded with adults rather than children.  I helped my father with his chores when my brothers ran away to be with their friends.  Also, I helped my mother with her chores.  Seemed to bond more closely with my father than my mother, as my mother was much more emotionally and physically abusive than my father and openly shared with me that her oldest son was her favorite and that she thought I was a failure, and grow up to be no good.

In high school and college, I kept to myself and made few friends.  Always thought for myself and never let anyone intimidate me into who I should choose to be my friends.

Today, when I encounter a child being bullied, I remind them they are in school to get an education.  Most bullying happens in the lunch room, so I tell them to bring a snack, eat it, and tell the lunch monitor they are finished eating and ask for permission to go to the library.  Because the library is quiet, and I encourage the student to sit by themselves at their own table, if possible, near the librarian's desk, no one will bother them.  Tell them to do their homework, and then to read every book they can that is of interest to them.  

Was not bullied as an adult until I moved back to Dutchess County.  Thought it was my fault, but now I know Dutchess County (and the cities therein) is REALLY a cruel county.  It has gotten worse in the last few years, as it was a one large employer county, and now that employer is struggling, at least in the United States.

Presently, I keep to myself in my public housing senior apartment complex (where a large minority or small majority are felons and/or ex-convicts), and two days a week I go to an adult Day Program (I am glad they are one of the few who don't call themselves a Day Care!) and I am either all the way in my apartment or all the way out, as in the public library.

Senior on senior bullying is a VERY BIG PROBLEM, at least in the United States.  

It is so sad people don't grow out of this . . .

Grateful for your friendship,

Monica

Dear Becky,

In my opinion, TGGuide is one of the best transgender support websites.

We have members of all ages, and they are kind, supportive, and knowledgeable.

Here at TGGuide, we do our best to keep this an emotionally safe space for all.

May I suggest you read the comments in the Forums and Blogs, not forgetting to click on the links. Also, I would love to see your outfits on our Gallery.

When you are comfortable, please consider writing comments on other people's posts, and having your own Blog (which I can see you are already doing a great job!)

Feel free to ask questions and sharing your concerns.

We are here for you!

Yours,

Monica

Dear MichelleLea,

Growing up, my mother ironed EVERYTHING, not only sheets and pillow cases, but underwear, too, may God rest her soul.

My Mom double starched Dad's  shirts (double starch spray). She never used regular starch spray. As frugal as my parents were, they regularly spent the money to have clothes dry cleaned. If they could have afforded it, ALL THE CLOTHES for work and church would have been dry cleaned.

Presently, I am content to fold or hang up clothes right out of the dryer! 

Your friend,

Monica

Dear Friends,

My mother what an excellent sewer. She had a Singer sewing machine from the 1930's.

She sewed upholstery, curtains and clothes. Often, I came home from school to a new dress laying on my bed!

My mother, although she was an excellent seamstress, had no patience in teaching me, so she hired a professional seamstress to teach me.

Although I have not sewed in decades, from age 11 to 21, I sewed almost everything I wore.

Glad so many ladies still love to sew!

Yours truly,

Monica

Dear Cynthia,

Absolutely love them!

Presently looking for holiday-themed clothing for myself!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!

Your friend,

Monica

Dear Emma,

The bullies in my building just turned on me OVERNIGHT, WITHOUT any provocation from me. The social worker couldn't believe it!

You are right, they are bonded by mutual dislikes and gossip.

Am looking at another Senior Adult Day Care on November 23rd, the day after Thanksgiving. Will let you know how it goes.

Got bullied again today. They've got the whole lunch room against me.

These people went from friendly to mean in the space of 24 hours!

The good people just left and are holed up in their apartments.

The social worker is seeking grants for me to study under an artist in my community. 

Asked a good friend of mine why I can write here but not create art here. She said, "that's easy, writing comes from the head, but art comes from the heart." 

The sad part is that I thought I had made good acquaintances here in the last year.

Where I live is not an emotionally safe space. Many of my neighbors are recent ex-convicts, street homeless and mental patients.

The only solution until I can move to Seattle is to keep busy elsewhere, and only sleep in the apartment. Learned my lesson, and I am signed up for family housing, NOT senior housing!

It is not by coincidence that we have a HIGHER DEATH RATE than HOSPICE! Jokingly, I told the social worker that the Coroner and Funeral Home should each have dedicated parking lot spaces! Volunteered at Hospice in Florida and Brooklyn, so I know what I am talking about!

Your friend,

Monica

Dear Emma,

Am a cisgender Lesbian woman and I see you as much as a woman as I am.

What are you? You are a woman. Just like some people look at the hump in my back and in their eyes, I cease to be a human being, but I am a cripple instead. Likewise, they look at you and you cease to be a woman but a transgender instead.

You look like you have a circle of loyal friends who see you as a woman.

Today, I thought I had a circle of friends, but found they were intimidated by a group of bullies (senior on senior bullying is a big problem in the United States, unfortunately), to abandon me and socialize with the bullies instead. This is why I am on the waitlist for Seattle FAMILY housing.

Carefully CHOOSING that inner circle of friends is key.

Your friend,

Monica

Dear Christy and Jonni,

Am using a lot less artificial sweeteners, and when I treat myself to a raspberry iced tea, I take it with natural instead of artificial sweeteners.

Not only do I watch out for hidden sugar, I look out for "cheap carbs." 

Hoping to get it off and keep it off forever. Know I will look "saggy," but I am doing this for my health. My doctor tells me my cholesterol and triglycerides are still high, but a lot lower!

Thank you for your encouragement.

Your friend,

Monica

Dear Jonni,

You may want to consider attending a gender conference, where there is a supportive and non-judgemental atmosphere.

Please stay away from Craigslist, which can be very dangerous.

Perhaps some of our members can recommend some gender conferences that are near San Francisco.

Your friend,

Monica

Dear Jonni and Christy,

Got to 269 lbs. at 5'8" and I realized I was only 31 lbs. away from 300 lbs.!

Have been struggling with weight loss all my adult life.

Lost 20 lbs. the last 6 months, and hope to lose another 20 lbs. in the next 6 months. Told my doctor I rejoice she's seeing less of me since my last visit, and that I hope she sees even less of me in our next visit, 6 months from now.

Have noticed that I lose pounds, then inches, and vice versa, as I drop weight. Also, I hope to keep it off, as I historically have lost weight and inches, then kept it off for 2 years, and then put it back on, plus more.

My mother started to lose weight permanently at age 60 (presently I am 60, and I will be 61 on January 19th), and I hope that will be the case for me.

Presently I have given up all sodas, rarely eat out, and when I eat out, skip dessert and have only water for my beverage. Mostly, I work on portion control. Also, I let my friends know I am trying to lose weight, so they can hold me accountable.

Your friend,

Monica