Losing weight is hard, and it takes more than eating fewer calories than what you burn. To burn it off more quickly I suggest the Atkins approach: 

- carefully record each day what you’re eating and the number of calories and net carbs. To get net carbs, take the total and subtract “Dietary Fiber”.

- aim for total net carbs of 25 grams or fewer per day.

Exercise helps a lot too, especially with feelings of depression. For me, getting outside is wonderful. Practice gratitude for everything that you see.

It’s tempting to get things like hip and butt pads but in the end they’re just uncomfortable and don’t accomplish much. I was always worried too that they’d shift or be in the “wrong” place and I’d look odd or silly. I suggest spending your money on clothing. Look around at women who’re about your size and shape and find ideas for what you’d like. Then go get them! 

You might find women’s clothing consignment shops for larger women. Excellent way to find clothes that fit and much lower cost than retail. They may also have shoes. It’s hard to find shoes that fit too.

Welcome to TG Guide! 

Hi Christy,

I know what you mean about my statement about doing what you need to do without consideration of others. I wrote that quickly and although I wasn’t satisfied with it I let it stand. I’m not sure what I meant to say exactly. Perhaps this is another discussion topic for your group or another thread here in TGG, or both? 

Overall the point I’m trying to make is that it doesn’t do us good to ruminate so much, building up and reinforcing our fears and shame. There’s so much to “worry” about as we all well know. With that context I’m saying that we need to practice getting into a mindful headspace where we develop an understanding of what’s in our hearts, irrespective of external considerations. And with that we’re better prepared to consider our responsibilities, loves, families, and all that, to plot a truthful course through the rocks and shoals. 

And yet, with all that, and returning back to the topic of this thread, everyone transitions with us. It’s quite upsetting to some and does take some blind faith and courage on our part. 

On a happier note, about your experiences in the grocery store and elsewhere: I’m having the same kinds of interactions! I have friends who give me hugs and fist bumps at the grocery stores, hardware store, lumber store... all over. My joy, I think, radiates. Last night I was added into our local HRC chapter’s Steering Committee, which I think reflects on this too. 

Being trans and transitioning is darned challenging to say the least. These days I’m finding that it’s very personally rewarding!

2 hours ago, Jessicatoyou said:

Ah, Yes, there is sooo much to think of.  Not even just the immediate or short term, or even the closer long term.  But what about 10, 15, 20, 30 years from now, or longer? How exactly will you conduct your life?  How do you expect to?  What other new relationships will one have and what will they be like? Will you be able to earn, or maintain a living?

I'd just like to politely (I hope) point out that predicting the future is impossible. Worse, many people ruminate about it, endlessly wrestling with different scenarios in a desperate effort to choose "the right one" which is, again, impossible. Yes, one must be responsible for themselves, and do their best to be prepared financially and/or job- or career-wise. I'm not encouraging anyone to take the leap into transition. Just saying that it's so easy to allow fears and uncertainties to cloud our judgment. 

2 hours ago, Jessicatoyou said:

 I think many people have a false idea that hey could be happy  just to "withdraw" living the remainder of their life transitioned, but I tend to think that would be a recipe for disaster. 

I completely agree with this regardless of whether one transitions or not. Wanting to withdraw is a reaction to fear and establishing control over ones life because we'd be alone. Like Jessica says, it's a recipe for disaster. The key is to figure out how you need to live your life without much consideration for others. The only ones that should be considered are close family members. But even with them we only have our single life to live. I came "that close" to ending mine several years ago and would have missed so much. 

Returning to the original theme of Monica's post here it's well known that when we transition everyone does it with us. That can be said about any transitions: career, work, home,... even if one inherits a bunch of money or earns a lot and takes enviable vacations. Yes, gender transition is big. On reflection I don't really see why but I know it's been for some in my life. The reason I don't see why it's such a big deal is that at our core we are the same people we've always been, only happier, more grounded. Isn't that what our friends and loved ones should hope for everyone they love? 

For whatever reason(s) some people refuse to accept our reality. We can't control anyone including them. Convincing someone that we are valid and real can be like a religious debate, or trying to convince someone to vote Democrat instead of Republican. I think there are two important rules to live by:

1. Recognize that it's not selfish and it is our God-given right to live our lives. 

2. Set an example for others of our love, respect, and support for everyone, including ourselves. 

"... a common theme in self acceptance therapies seems to be to allow people into your inner circle to achieve happiness and piece of mind."

This struck me as so true and honestly, I'm a believer. Another way of saying it is that being vulnerable - which means allowing people to see our selves in a less-guarded way - spawns happiness and peace of mind. If you're interested in learning more I recommend Brene Brown's books - pretty much any of them. 

You see, I believe that being true to ourselves means that we're being true to those outside of ourselves. For trans and others in the LGBTQ space, this can be tough. We've learned that it's risky (emotionally at least) to allow others to have an awareness of our authentic selves. For me this led to decades of hiding, shame, and fear, ultimately leading to serious depression and suicide attempts. Why? Because when we're in hiding it's as if we are living a lie, always aware of what others might think or know about our secret. 

Alternatively we can come out to successive layers of people (spouse/partner, family, etc.) ultimately leading to colleagues and the public. Is it risky? Yes. Is it scary? Definitely. I lost several friends, and that still hurts. But there is a relief I feel that I know well that I could never have achieved. I am still open to hurt but we all know that's life. And it's not all bad. It's good to have feelings, it makes us real people too, perhaps closer in alignment with our true gender. 

I don't mean to turn this discussion to me but I must add that yesterday I was a guest speaker at a local elementary school. I talked to nine different classes of 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th grades. Exhausting! In the last class a 5th grade girl blurted out: "Do you wear dresses?" I was wearing aubergine cords and a flowery top. I was startled by her question. I didn't mind talking about my being trans - that happened a little bit in other classes. But her question sounded a bit mocking, judgmental. I answered, "Yes, occasionally. I wear whatever any woman wears." I said it calmly without any attitude or tone. She seemed satisfied, perhaps because her comment didn't seem to ruffle my feathers. 

Later, I thought I could have said, "Do you?" to her question about wearing dresses. But that would have been more confrontational and, perhaps, played into her behavior of picking verbal combats. So I'm glad I didn't.

This morning I still remember what she said. It's as if she, in that little exchange, cut me to the core. Am I valid? Am I weird? I don't like those feelings as I'm sure you understand. But, you know, I am using my feelings as an opportunity to take an inventory of me as a woman of transgender experience. It's who I am regardless of whatever anyone says, does, or thinks. Sometimes it feels like a big burden and it is. We all have our burdens, cis, trans, blacks, left-handers,... We're no different, better, or worse than anyone else.  

Very delightful article, Monica. In many ways it echoes my own experiences. 

The fear of rejection has been such a constant in my life from me earliest memories, even in preschool when I wanted to dance like a ballerina or curtsy with the girls. 

Even now, when I don’t receive a reply to an email or text message, I jump to that conclusion until, as it always does, my assumptions are proven wrong. 

Rejection seems to be such a common denominator for trans people. Perhaps also for L.G.B. people too?

9 hours ago, Mikaylajane79 said:

I have a referral pending for a therapist. My Dr prescribed me another med for my depression. We will see how this helps or not. I know in my heart who I am and just don't know if I am strong enough to live the way I want to. But only time will tell. All I know is I am tired of hiding my true self. And tired of having to pretend to be something that I am not. I am very over emotional right now. And it's not good at all. 

I tried meds several times over the decades where I was going to therapists for depression but not confessing my "shameful" feelings about my gender. After making a serious suicide attempt about 2.5 years ago my therapist insisted I go see a psychiatrist or he'd have me committed. For the first time (to a psychiatrist) I came clean and we started trying drugs and eventually hit on something that's been remarkably helpful - for me. 

Here again, speaking only for myself, it was like I had to gain a new mindset about meds and what they do. In years past I'd hoped that the pill would clear the depression and life would go on, depression-free. Of course, that didn't work. I finally (perhaps as a result of finally receiving a drug that was effective for me) discovered that I really did have two things going on: 1) a problem in my brain chemistry that was addressed, thank goodness, and 2) my shame and fear around my gender dysphoria which has also much improved after transitioning, HRT, and living more authentically. 

It's all so complicated especially for adults like us who've developed coping habits that, to some extent, we also have to undo. I suppose those habits are still with me but I do seem to be getting better, with a happiness and peace that I've never in my life felt before. 

3 hours ago, Christy said:

 Before I came out to my wife I was displaying almost all the same feminine manners that I do now.

She even told me that the way I see it and cross my legs or stand at the kitchen counter is bothering her. 

My wife used to often make such observations too, as if she was my personal coach. She said that crossing my legs at the knees, fluttering my hands while speaking, standing with hands crossed, so many things, made me appear effeminate and would cause people to think I was weird. It was so painful to hear her since I was simply being myself, often otherwise happy. She’d bring me crashing down to earth.

I did defend myself but was too hurt to try to make any part of it humorous.

I wonder if the people who are the nastiest are men, women, or if it’s roughly the same. I suspect it’s men. We all know how men are so afraid of women. In my experience cis women have been very supportive of me. Trans women are too but it’s less clear.

On the other hand if women are acting scared or threatened by you then maybe they’re not seeing you for the woman that you are. This is where I think Chrissy is so correct. If you can show a level of confidence (not arrogance!) and female body language (especially walking and standing) I suspect their attitudes will change. Your being you becomes harder to deny.

All this is indeed tiring, no doubt about it. Some of it is what all women have to deal with. Some of it is reserved for transgender prejudices. Very hard to tell the difference!

Walk, standing straight and proud, not folded over like men. Go ahead and swing your arms but don’t limp your wrist in an affected manner. Dress appropriately for the climate and social scene. Check out what other women are wearing and if you like their style make mental notes to emulate them. Smile! It’s harder to scoff at someone when they’re smiling and happy.

First, my apologies to Mikaylajane for having this conversation on her blog. I'd normally just post on mine or elsewhere but last night I was reeling with emotions so I wrote what I did. I'm still kind of shell-shocked this morning. I have a doctor appt for tomorrow morning and am getting ready now to run out to the Walgreen's for the blood thinner prescription. I'm worried that all this will also stand in the way of my GCS which is scheduled for 1/31. We'll see.

Monica: I agree with you and appreciate your support, especially your comment about the photo. Maybe it's time for to me to experience my version of menopause. i guess what I'm most afraid of is that I'll return to feeling the distress between my body and mind which I had for so long before starting HRT. I'm reasonably sure though that I'll be able to stay on spironolactone so maybe that'll be mitigated. 

Chrissy: Thank you too for your message. Indeed as I was driving home last night I wondered if I could just switch to injections. I raced home to open up a presentation that a local highly-regarded physician sent to me after I met him last month at Gender Odyssey. Maybe, as you said,. alternate delivery might be okay. Unfortunately the way I read this below, the risk is higher for injections. I'm also in excellent health, exercise regularly - all that. But I'm also 62 and maybe that's a factor in DVT risk too.

I don’t want to be a downer but neither of us will ever be a cis female. Of late I’ve been labeling myself a woman of transgender experience, the point being I’m first and most importantly a woman but indeed I have a trans history and will always be trans. 

Today I drove myself to the emergency room because I suspected deep vein thrombosis in my left calf muscle, which is a known risk for HRT. Unfortunately they confirmed it and it’s likely that tomorrow I’ll be told to discontinue estrogen. I want to cry. I’ve gone through so much to get here — lots more than most cis women — and now I have to downshift from progress. Oh, and the ultrasound technician misgendered me despite the “F” on my chart, my legal name, the clothing I wear, the voice I’ve worked on so hard, my hair, my jewelry. She didn’t mean anything by it. She practically started crying herself when I calmly and privately pointed out her error. 

In some ways I don’t need to pass. I’m fine with being trans. But in many other ways I get very sad when I’m reminded that I’m not a cis woman. I just want to pack up the tent and retire to a cabin deep in the woods. Even if I did consistently pass I’d always feel a bit on edge, like a secret agent behind enemy lines. So that’s not a solution either.

I know these emotions will decay and a couple of days from now I’ll be fine. But still. It’s safe to say that transitioning isn’t a cure-all. It’s better than not, certainly. But we’ll always be trans.

As I was walking to a restaurant near my hotel this evening (I’m in Chicago after enduring another round of massive electrolysis) I came up with: “woman of transgender experience.” After all, that’s what I am I think. History or not, I’m still trans!

Christy: Thanks for your comment! Rock what you got girl! 

Monica: Weight and disability are such huge challenges that I know you must face. I feel so fortunate, I really do. I also agree that your challenges make it a lot harder to find dating partners. The thing to do, which I know you're doing, is to get out there, regardless of whatever we are challenged with, and show the world your pretty face and delightful personality. 

Bree: Thanks! I sent Peanut's photo to Nordstrom yesterday; they also loved it and are forwarding it to their marketing group. Who knows, maybe she'll be famous! She's certainly Top Cat in my house!

Like Christy, I’ll never go back. I’ve never felt as good as I do now. Like you, Jessica, I suffered a lot over the decades. Good grief, what a struggle. 

Coming out into one’s authentic self is scary and fulfilling, like tackling a complicated project that you’re not sure you can handle. The joys of incremental progress are phenomenal.

Sounds like a terrific plan to me, Michelle. You gotta live somewhere and $686/month is pretty low. Best wishes on a smooth sale of your house and fun times setting up your new home!

That’s so great to hear! I imagine you’re feeling good about confronting your fears talking with your mom. Please remember that feeling, nurture it. No matter where you go or end up the road ahead has plenty of crossroads. When encountering them it helps to recall previous challenges and how great it feels to be authentic.

9 hours ago, Emma said:

Congrats on opening another account! And also for recognizing your not focusing enough on winning biz at the ones you made appointments with. Don’t succumb to just being busy. Focus, focus, focus, on winning biz. Anything else is, sorry to say, spinning your wheels and wasting energy and time and money. Why money? Because the time spent on the accounts that don’t pay off is time you can use on opening up others.

I was thinking about you overnight (which happens when I write just before going to sleep!) and hope this helps. You should be congratulated more for your ability to make appointments. People are busy and don’t want meetings just because you’re nice. I conclude that you must therefore be tickling their curiosity enough to set up the meeting. But then, something goes haywire. Maybe they have objections you can’t address. Too expensive? Not really needed? 

It’s lucky that you have a long experience because I wonder if you could go through your past meetings and in one or two words classify what went wrong with each one: why didn’t they buy. Then, tally these up to determine the frequency of each. Then, take a look and see if you can create a better response to each one. Be creative! Be radical! It doesn’t hurt since now, when you hit one of these objections you almost certainly lose the deal. 

Turn it into a game and see if you can get some more runs on the board!

Congrats on opening another account! And also for recognizing your not focusing enough on winning biz at the ones you made appointments with. Don’t succumb to just being busy. Focus, focus, focus, on winning biz. Anything else is, sorry to say, spinning your wheels and wasting energy and time and money. Why money? Because the time spent on the accounts that don’t pay off is time you can use on opening up others.

Please also take Monica’s advice on Florida. And only rent a mobile home! $70K is a lot of money, especially for a used mobile home. Maybe you can find something on Craig’s List?

Hi Michelle,

Sorry to hear that your AFLAC work is paying off so slowly for you. I'm sure your supervisors just love your work ethic, perseverance, and attitude. I suggest taking a step back and try to objectively consider what's going on, why you're not making more money, enjoying more success. 

It's unfortunate to have to say this, but it's quite possible that your manager(s) are already very aware of how small a chance it is for anyone to make a living in your role. They may very well see you as quite unique, who, if anyone can, ought to be successful. Let's face it, it's hard to find good people like you. 

The situation reminds me peripherally of companies like Uber where sure, you can quickly become a driver but unless you consciously and adequately stash funds away for car maintenance you'll soon not be able to earn anything when your car breaks down. 

So, by objectively looking at your current situation at AFLAC you may decide that despite your best efforts your territory just doesn't have prospects with sufficient interest to make the insurance investment. Or, you might think of another plan of attack to approach prospects. (For example, about 35 years ago I was responsible for selling a $250K piece of manufacturing equipment, and was having a heck of a time getting customers to appreciate the benefits they'd accrue from using it. My manager and I came up with a compelling way to get meetings with CEOs and presidents: we'd set our watch on the table and ask them to give us 60 seconds of their attention. We then presented a simple (but credible) economic analysis of the benefits and, lo and behold, that turned the corner for me, and I sold about a dozen machines!)

About renting the mobile home: excellent idea, especially to rent. I lived in a smallish Class C RV for about six months last year and in the end didn't care for it. I'd purchased it for what I thought was a very good price and assumed that, like a car, I could resell it later with some relatively minor depreciation. Au contraire! I ended up losing a fourth of what I paid for it only one year later. Live and learn, no?

Best wishes,

Emma

Hi JeffDad,

Thank you for keeping up the dialog. I'm happy to respond to more specific issues such as what you raised.

8 hours ago, JeffDad said:

As you can probably tell I am very angry, hurt and confused.  I am also in mourning.  I don't know if transgender people understand the mourning part of this situation.  While many of you may feel that sense of relief or excitement (I don't know the proper words) when you come out, you may not realize the pain and suffering that you leave in your wake.   You have previously mentioned the situation with your ex wife.  It is great that you guys still have a good relationship but I find it hard to imagine that this was not an extremely painful situation for her.  If I remember correctly, you have had these feelings of believing you are a female since you were young but yet you still got married to a woman who believed you were a man and had 2 kids with her. 

Your emotions are valid and very understandable. Indeed, my wife was devastated when I came out to her. She felt I'd betrayed her and lied to her which was true in some ways although we had had some conversations about my feelings even before we married. We've been apart for almost a year and a half and it's only recently that she's not crying when we get on the phone. I have no doubt that her pain has been awful and I feel so sorry and guilty about this. It's one reason I came "that close" to doing myself in about two years ago. 

I agree too that some trans people in their euphoria and rejoicing of coming into their own authenticity don't appreciate what their other close family and friends go through. We have a saying that "everyone transitions with you" that tries to capture that sentiment. We trans people also tend to forget that we've learned so much about what it is to feel gender dysphoria, to be trans, and all that, while it's all very new and scary for our partners and families. Caitlyn Jenner comes to mind as one that they think about. Or that we must be gay. Like any preconceived notion it takes time and communication to rebuild understanding. 

8 hours ago, JeffDad said:

The person you are referring to is my daughter.  I believe she needs a lot more help to understand and deal with these feelings.  I want my daughter back desperately.  

I can hear how much you love your child and how much you want her "back." I will say that from what I've read from you I tend to feel that while your concern for your child is real (and understandable) that you're perhaps more concerned about what your child says/does will reflect on you. Maybe you feel that you did something wrong? Maybe you're afraid for what your friends and family might say or do? I suggest that you try to sort that out with a therapist. I am not denying your feelings and emotions in any way. I'm just wanting to help you through this and by doing that help your child.

8 hours ago, JeffDad said:

I am someone who believes in proof and facts.  I have searched repeatedly for some kind of proof that transgender exists in DNA, biology, chemistry, blood, or anything else to no avail.  It seems that transgender exists just because people say it exists. 

Me too. I am an electrical engineer/computer scientist and worked in these fields for the past 30+ years. As I've written to you elsewhere I went through a tremendous amount of research to determine for myself that to be transgender isn 't a choice, that we are born with it. I agree that it's painful that we don't have an objective test for it. However, long after I was satisfied that trans people are born this way I asked the endocrinologist who wrote Why I Wish All My Patients Were Transgender a question about a year ago before I started hormone therapy: "I've heard that trans people feel terrific when taking cross-sex hormones and assumed that it was kind of a placebo euphoria. So my question is this, if their feelings are real (i.e., stay with them long after they start hormones) would cis people feel lousy taking these hormones and, through that, tend to confirm or deny that they are transgender?" He answered in the affirmative, that I am correct. True, we're still relying on feelings to figure this out. But the same is true for psychological medications. I wish we had tests for which serotonin uptake inhibitors I need and it took many frustrating and expensive tries to get it right. 

8 hours ago, JeffDad said:

While most of you here have stated that you know you are transgender... what proof do you actually have even to yourself other than that's how you feel or how your brain works.  How do you know that there isn't something in your head that just isn't working properly and making you believe you are a different gender?  I am very serious with this question. 

I do sometimes wrestle with this question, too. Am I really trans? Although I've had several professionals confirm that I am I still experience occasional worries. But here's the thing: I know how much happier and content that I am now versus how I've felt over the last six decades. I'm not partying like it's 1999 or running around in mini-skirts and heels. I'm just going about my life as a woman in her early 60s who also happens to be lesbian. I love it.

But I also get it that talking to someone like me may be worrisome. Perhaps it's like I'm trying to convert your religion or something. I thus strongly suggest that you watch some of the videos I sent to you that are by professionals. These people have no axe to grind other than trying to understand and help their patients/clients, some of whom are children. 

You need to put in your own effort to understand this. I understand that you wish it'd all go away but I also wish I didn't have to pay taxes, that the climate isn't changing, and that I was 40 years younger. Wishes don't solve anything.

3 hours ago, JeffDad said:

If I was hearing happy stories.... positive life stories, fulfilling relationship stories.. happy family stories.... or anything that could even be construed as positive I may think differently.  

JeffDad: Maybe I see your point. I know that I keyed off of your writings. It sounded to me like you were denying trans people their validity as trans and thus cast the same judgment on what your child is going through. So I (and we) responded:

- We tried to explain how hard it is to come out to parents, friends, relatives, to try to inspire some patience and sympathy toward your child.

- We explained the hard times we had as children and adults, here again trying to help you understand that your child needs your support and, without that, may very well commit suicide.

Michael's story certainly parallels mine. I'm 62 and have transitioned to being a trans woman after so many decades of depression, suicide attempts, therapists. and psychiatrists. I'm quite delighted to say that I've never been happier in my life, and it's not a euphoria. I'm old enough to know the difference. I love my life now presenting and being a woman in society. Do I have my ups and downs? Of course. 

You also wanted a positive relationship story. Last year my wife and I divorced after 20+ years of marriage. Here is what she wrote to me in May 2017:

Happy birthday my sweet _________,
Wish I could be there to celebrate your day.  And what a wonderful day it was 61 years ago when you arrived on this earth.  This is your year to celebrate yourself and become who you really are.  Be brave, be strong, be true, be honest in this journey.  Remember that I will aIways love you.  You are the finest person I have ever known and I thank God that you are in my life.
Have the best day ever.
Love, ______ 

We talk at least once/week for about an hour or two and always sign off with "I love you" because we do. She is going to visit me this Thanksgiving for a week and next year when I have my gender confirmation surgery she has already offered to come and help me with my recovery. But we will never have a marriage together again since she's not a lesbian. But we are committed to always support and love each other as best friends.

These days I'm having a terrific time joining lesbian hiking groups and others in a variety of activities. Making friends, perhaps meeting a dating partner. My life is wonderful and I no longer have suicidal ideations. 

As Michael wrote, being trans isn't a choice or lifestyle. None of us would have chosen to be trans but speaking for myself I would not wish to be a cisgender male. But that's not a choice either, is it? You and we and your child are what we are, and nothing you can say will change that. 

I am so worried about your son. I fear that if you remain so steadfast in your opinions that you will drive him away to repeat what so many of us have gone through. Wishing that he's not trans doesn't work. I suggest you open your mind to understanding and compassion instead of trying to tough it out. 

Emma

On 7/16/2018 at 11:12 PM, JeffDad said:

It would be much easier for me if I could delude myself into believing this is a positive thing but I can't.  

With all due respect this sentence and its sentiment upset me. Imagine, if you will, how much courage it's taken your child to come out to you. And then pat yourself on the back that your child opted to do this instead of hurting themselves, perhaps even attempting suicide. I'd say it's quite positive that your child trusted you enough to overcome their own fears to do this.

The positive thing would be if you shed your own worries and baggage and allowed your son (which is how I believe they wish to be addressed) to take a lead in this. 

On 7/16/2018 at 11:12 PM, JeffDad said:

My wife says she has never seen our child be this happy being a boy.  

Listen to your wife and especially your child. Just because you don't understand it that doesn't make it bad. Time for you to get out of your head and actually talk with and meet other parents of trans kids.

On 7/16/2018 at 11:12 PM, JeffDad said:

I believe this is a moment in time of happiness until the real world situations kick in.  

Instead of casting so much doubt and worry about your child get real and up close with your child and their situation. You're whining and it's not becoming. Sure, your son son won't fit in with the girls in their puberty. Yes, he may have troubles with the boys. All kids have tough teen years, you know that. 

I'm at a loss of what else to say. I feel that you're looking at the glass as half empty instead of half full. 

I'm very frustrated and sad at the moment. I am well aware of how hard it is to raise kids. I have two adult sons of my own with their own issues. You can choose this moment to step up and be a real father or try to put your child back into their head which is likely to erupt in all sorts of negative ways, perhaps even death. Up to you.

Monica,

I’m 62 so a tad older but similar in age. I’m more self-conscious about my voice and face than about my age spots, easily bruised arms, and stuff like that. I think that most people are self-conscious and worried. It’s part of the human condition. The trick is to have awareness of our feelings, let them breathe within ourselves, but not allow them to hold us back. 

Carpe dium, make every day as precious as you can.

Emma

I have no idea where you're located, Jeff, your religious affiliations, etc. I came across this article earlier today and regardless, it's an excellent addition within mainstream media that the curtains are really being pulled back about the presence and lives of trans people. In this case, highlighting that areas in the Southeast are more welcoming than in the Northeast. It's also focused on trans girls and boys, adding more anecdotal examples of their realities and validity. I highly recommend it:

Trans in the South: Meet Kids Finding Acceptance in the Bible Belt

10 hours ago, JeffDad said:

I do not want her to be in this world.  

Sorry, I have to add something here. "This world" is actually so much much better for trans people than it ever has been. The fact that shows like Megyn Kelly's and so many others are highlighting and celebrating our existence. Yes, there is prejudice, confusion, and lack of awareness. Those are things we can work on. 

I am 62 and well remember surreptitiously reading articles about Christine Jorgensen and others, growing up in extreme shame and secrecy, constantly aware of how I was being perceived and trying to adapt to be what didn't feel natural for me, often hating myself for my feelings that I simply couldn't suppress. I tried so hard, I really did. 

Perhaps you can elaborate on what this sentence means for you? 

And here's an issue from National Geographic that might help:

GENDER REVOLUTION

"Read the historic January 2017 Special Issue of National Geographic magazine on the shifting landscape of gender and download our discussion guide for teachers and parents"

Just now I downloaded the Nat Geo discussion guide. Really, it's excellent. I suggest also sharing it with your child. She/he may find it very helpful in understanding themself and provide concepts and words that facilitate talking with you and professionals. It's that good. 

9 hours ago, JeffDad said:

While I understand that you believe you are transgender...

Jeff,

These words say a lot, I think. The first step in helping your child is to come to an understanding that to be transgender is real. Regardless of what therapists told me I needed to believe it myself. I did a heck of a lot of research to the point where it was undeniable to me. The next step is to try to determine if your child really is trans. Unfortunately there is no objective test. So what to do then? Listen to your daughter, take her to see qualified therapists and professionals. (Be careful, there are quacks out there too.) 

9 hours ago, JeffDad said:

I am asking serious questions.  

I know you are and I hope you'll continue to ask more. Through all this you'll gain a better understanding and thus confidence in helping your child. 

I'm not sure if this (below) will help but just in case, it's an email I received from my ex-wife a little over a year ago, a month after I drove away from the home we had shared. We were married for 20 years and divorced because we determined together that for me to become myself we had to be apart. We remain very close to this day, often on the phone together, and are making plans to get together this Thanksgiving at her place or mine.

"Happy birthday my sweet __________,
Wish I could be there to celebrate your day.  And what a wonderful day it was 61 years ago when you arrived on this earth.  This is your year to celebrate yourself and become who you really are.  Be brave, be strong, be true, be honest in this journey.  Remember that I will aIways love you.  You are the finest person I have ever known and I thank God that you are in my life.
Have the best day ever.
Love, _______"