MonicaPz

Dear MichelleLea and Chrissy, In Oldsmar, Florida, which was right on the water, in Tampa Bay, Florida, many of the houses were built on filings as tall as 12 feet high. Am getting ready to attend Fantasia Fair, and many of the women are encouraging me to invest in two ball gowns, even though I am a mid-butcher Lesbian that doesn't even have a dress or skirt to her name. Am trying to put together outfits suitable for two formal occasions appropriate for a mid-butcher Lesbian! Monica

Dear MichelleLea, Emma, Chrissy and Karen, Am a big believer in letting nothing go to waste. Every Spring and Fall, I do a deep clean, and I try on all my clothes. Anything that doesn't fit, I promptly give away. Don't wait to "grow into or out of" anything, anticipating a weight gain or loss, because by that time, there might be a stain or stains forming because of long'term storage. My mother taught me this, may God rest her soul. She really knew how to take care of her clothes. She used tissue sheets in between her better bras, panties and slips in her dresser drawers to keep the wrinkles out. She did this from when she was young to her old age, and did not slack off when she got married. My mother dressed beautifully, and made sure her husband (my father) did, too. One of my best memories was when they went square dancing, especially during the holidays. Wish I had pictures to prove it! About shoes - I recall my roommate had FIFTY pairs of shoes. I used only 12 inches of the closet (hanger and floor space), while she used the rest! Thank you for donating your unused clothing, as I do, too! Your friend, Monica

Dear MichelleLea, Concerning wigs and hairpieces, be aware that ONE THIRD of cisgender women wear them! Monica

Dear MichelleLea, Just finished my research for transgender resources in Broward County and found that they all are "for profit." If anyone knows of non-profit transgender support in Broward County, please let MichelleLea and I know. Please check the resources I gave you, and, if they don't know, ask them for a referral. Sometimes it takes one person referring to another person, and that person referring to a third person, etc. Things have changed in the 15 years since I lived in Tampa Bay, but I still think they are worth the trip! Orlando has some outstanding transgender support and social groups, and if you are interested, let me know. Your friend, Monica

Dear MichelleLea, You may want to check these out: Trans*Talk St. Pete MTF Group: 2nd Wednesday of the month 7 - 8:30 P.M. Tel: 727-321-3854 (call for address and directions) Coffee & "T" LGBT Welcome Center 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month 6 - 8 P.M. LGBT Welcome Center 2227 Central Ave. St. Petersburg, Florida 727-201-4925 Will research resources in Broward County soon. Yours truly, Monica

Dear MichelleLea, First, please accept my condolences on the loss of your wife. Let me assure you that she very likely was attracted to your gentle feminine energy, although she may not have been conscious of that. Second, until 15 years ago, I used to live in Tampa Bay, Florida, for 35 years. As recently as a few years ago, I know they had a very trans-friendly Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), one of the 10 largest in the world (taking up an entire city block) on U.S. 19 and Central Avenue in St. Petersburg, Florida. Also, there is a cross dresser support group and transsexual support group (yes, they not only get along but enjoy each other's company!), meeting monthly in St. Petersburg, Florida. There is also a social group that welcomes BOTH transsexuals AND cross dressers, and they have wonderful activities monthly, such as going to the mall, followed by dining out, etc. There is a transsexual support group that meets monthly in Clearwater, Florida. Will try to get you some contacts within the week. Your friend, Monica

Dear MichelleLea, If I may throw in my two cents here, please be careful to use quality cosmetics, as I fear you may develop an allergy to them. Don't know why, I have developed an allergy to ALL cosmetics, including the highest quality cosmetics, except for lipstick, (I get angry red hives all over my face), as well as I am allergic to hair coloring and perming solution (I can't enter most hair salons from the odor). When I was in Tampa Bay, Florida, after or before the support group meetings, we would have a "girls' night out," where we would go to the mall and have makeup applied as well as get instruction on how to properly apply makeup. Tampa Bay (Clearwater, St. Petersburg and Tampa) had such a T/LGB friendly community you could literally go to a support group once a week if you wanted to! Am sure it is still the same way today. Many of the transgender conferences offer free seminars and classes about how to use makeup, dress, and female deportment. If you can make one of these, you will find it well worth your while. As for clothing, thrift stores a good bet, some being better than others. There are two wonderful women's clothing catalogs that I highly recommend: http://www.roamans.com http://www.womanwithin.com On our home page, if you look for "Resources" on the header, there will be a drop-down that you can click on that will list all the transgender support groups in the U.S. and even overseas. You should be no more than a couple of hours drive from your nearest transgender support group. Your friend, Monica

Dear MichelleLea, Have found as I got older, starting in my 50's, that I get up about 3 AM to use the bathroom. Almost always, once I get up, I "putter around," doing small chores and prepping for the morning, Sometimes I watch television for an hour or so instead, or in addition, then I go back to bed. Your friend, Monica

Dear MichelleLea and Bree, About my housekeeping . . . I am very clean due to severe allergies. If I acquire a stain and can change my clothes, I do so, as I attempt to treat the stain as soon as possible with liquid Tide (any type) directly on the stain, which almost always come out in the wash. Do a "deep clean" once a week with the help of my home attendant, where we work side by side. Must confess I "cheat" and wear my socks, shorts/pants and shirt/blouse several days in a row unless I acquire a stain or perspire heavily and/or acquire an odor. As for women's cleanliness and frequency of changing clothes, from the point of view of a cisgender mid-butch Lesbian, who has been around many Straight and Lesbian women, this is a very individual thing, but, in general, feminine women are cleaner and change their clothes more often (according to the occasion). When I was in my relationship of ten years, we were friends with three other couples, and the fems couldn't wait to get to work on helping their butches with the diet, cleanliness and fashion! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Stephani, Have grown a lot since being here on TGGuide. You and many others are my real friends. Thank you for being so supportive. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Charlotte, Chuckled watching a nice looking couple getting "slimed." Would have given anything to be the "slimer." LOL! Your friend, Monica

Dear Charlotte and Emma, There have been some situations where people AT FIRST supported a transgendered person, but then changed their mind (probably under pressure from their family and friends). This has also happened to me as a Lesbian. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Ladies, Please keep in mind that ONE OUT OF THREE adult cisgender women wear wigs or hair pieces. Have experimented with wearing a wig. The wig flattered me very much and was much more attractive than my natural hair. Wore it daily but kept very good care of it. Sadly, even though it was an $85.00 wig, I had to give it up, because the wig only lasted three months, which would have been financially prohibitive for me. By the way, artificial hair wigs are much more comfortable than natural hair wigs, in my experience, and just as natural looking. Also, I think artificial hair wigs seem to stand up to wear and tear better than natural hair wigs. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Chrissy, Loved your T-Shirts. Watched the NYC Pride on TV and I look forward to many more televised Prides! A Gaymale friend of mine went to the NYC Pride in person and, as always, he absolutely loved it. He never misses it. Feel the NYC Pride is BOTH a march AND a parade! Your friend, Monica

AWESOME! REQUIRED READING AND VIEWING FOR EVERYONE!

Dear Karen and Chrissy, Just had a dream just like that, and I am a cisgender Lesbian woman who had a hysterectomy 17 years old. Rarely do I feel sensuality, but every now and then I surprise myself! Your friend, Monica

Dear Emma, Absolutely love your pictures! May I suggest you get a Season/color evaluation. Every woman should get this. Your friend, Monica

Bonnie, Can't seem to PM you. Don't know if it is at your end. Monica

Dear Friends, Thank you for responding. Where I live it is hard to find/make friends. As one acquaintance recently told me, in the northeast, it is "dog eat dog." Grew up hearing my own mother say the same thing. Since moving to upstate New York, I have learned how right my mother was in saying the things she said (I grew up here). Definitely plan on being very honest UP FRONT about this, because I do not want anyone thinking I mislead them. Probably I am not in the place where I belong. Not one to live a lie. Will let you all know how it turns out! Thank you very much for reaching out to me. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Friends, Did not like the proviso Emma's friend put on their "tolerance," which was if Emma was a Trump supporter or, worse, she "came out." I, too, do not like the way Emma's friend emphasized "tolerance" as it implied that the friend was doing it only because it was the "politically correct" thing to do. Your friend, Monica

Dear Friends, Emma, please let me know how Seattle and Portland are from a woman's point of view. Just to remind you all, we change COMPLETELY, physically and emotionally, DECADE by DECADE. So the person that Emma's wife fell in love with ten or more years ago is not the same person today. Also, Emma's partner is not the same person she was ten or more years ago than she is today. Only a lucky few grow in parallel for ten years or more. Our complex society makes it even harder! Your friend, Monica

Dear Emma, Tend to agree with Bree. Feel it is potentially dangerous. It is sad we have to filter our thoughts to control what comes out of our mouths according to a situation. Please remember that as a woman you must take greater care. Your friend, Monica

All my life I sought a life-long relationship, and, yes, I found true love for ten years, (in my forties), only to lose it for my refusal to marry her (back then, a Holy Union), for fear of losing my Disability benefits and bankrupting her as a result. As I approach my 60's, I realize I have become more complex, because of all the life experience I have been through, making it more difficult for me to find someone with whom I am compatible. What brought this home to me was my experience with four Lesbian dating websites, (from my mid-fifties to the present), where the women my age (59) were more complicated and had more complex demands on a potential partner. Slowly, it gradually occurred to me, that if I didn't find an alternative way of looking at love and companionship, that very likely I would remain single and have no romantic love and companionship for the rest of my life. Gradually, I realized serial brief relationships (with the possibility of a relationship growing into a friendship or even a long-term relationship) would be a lot more realistic. Here are my reasons: WHY IT'S BEST I LIVE ALONE Am set in my ways.Needs to use the bathroom on short notice.Gassy.Terrible odor when I use the bathroom.Never shared my living space (not even with my lover of 10 years).Can not share my apartment and finances due to being on Disability.Needs to live in HUD Public Housing (if anyone wanted to live with me, they, too, would have to be "very low income," too).Allergic to horses, dogs, cats and birds (most Lesbians not only have cats and dogs, but sleep with their pets).Am actually happy with my apartment (and I am unlikely to find as good an apartment - especially HUD Housing - anywhere).Only negative where I live is some residents in Beacon and many residents of my apartment complex, I don't like. Avoid them and save money to take trips every three or four months.Love my building.Management treats me humanely.Maintenance treats me humanely, and does an efficient and thorough job maintaining and cleaning the building as well as making repairs in my apartment. (Most HUD Public Housing properties are poorly maintained.)Very low crime rate where I live. (The lowest crime rate I have every seen at a HUD Public Housing property I have ever seen.)​Here are what I think are the advantages of short-term relationships: The Advantages of Short-Term Relationships Due to very low income (some would call this a "budget income," I can not relocate quickly to continue dating a woman (in order to avoid a "U-Haul" situation where I would move in with her, and hope for the best!)Most women do not qualify (very low income) and are uncomfortable dating a woman who lives in HUD Public Housing, especially if it is poorly maintained and is in a dangerous neighborhood.Able to enjoy the relationship before the drama and games begin.Can't find a woman locally to me because of homophobia where I live. (Most women are already coupled before they move here.)Both parties should be single out of respect for other relationships and for themselves.Sex is not the primary reason for such a relationship, but companionship.​Of course, there are many other reasons people may choose short-term relationships rather than long-term or lifelong relationships. Would like to hear from others if they resonate with this in their own lives (especially if they are 60 +) and how realistic they think this is. Am I selling myself short? Or am I having realistic expectations for a 59 year old, average-looking woman, who is kind, compassionate, supportive and has many interests? Thank you in advance for your comments! ​

Dear Michele and Emma, My mother had migraines on the right side of her head. She kept this fact to herself to avoid prejudicing me for or against should I develop migraines. When I told my mother I get them in the right side of my head, she validated this was true for her, too. Feel like a rock is being forced into my right eye. As I get older, they are less severe, so I think they are related to my estrogen. Since they last for 1/2 hour, I do not treat them with anything beyond over the counter painkillers. May you be well! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Michele, You were wise to bring many sanitary napkins with you to the hospital. Also recommend women bring their own Chux pads to protect them from overflow onto their bedding. Am looking forward to the time when transwomen can adopt. Cisgender Lesbians and Gaymales have an excellent record when it comes to having children. Not many cisgender Straight males have had children, but the few who do, have an excellent track record. Looking forward to when transwomen can adopt children. Am sure transmen will also have an excellent track record when adopting or having children. There are so many children waiting to be adopted! Please don't give up hope. Hoping you continue healing. Am a cancer survivor of 17 years myself (uterine cancer). Sending love and prayers your way. Yours truly, Monica