“The transition happened so fast. It seemed so normal to me. It was as if I went to sleep next to dad and woke up next to Mama. I never questioned it, I never asked why (until I was older of course). I embraced it like I embraced her hugs.”
Children are raised to love and be loved. The love between a mother and child is irreplaceable. I know this from both perspectives. I had the perfect family growing up but I’ll get to that in a minute. My story does not define me as a person, nor does it define my mother. It defines only the true meaning of ‘Love”.
I don’t remember much about my dad. It seemed like a flash and he was gone. I felt sadness for the ‘loss’ of my father but what I hadn’t yet realized is that I gained something that my father could never give me; Happiness. The transition happened so fast. It seemed so normal to me. It was as if I went to sleep next to dad and woke up next to Mama. I never questioned it, I never asked why (until I was older of course). I embraced it like I embraced her hugs.
Once I began calling my father ‘mama’ and as the transition progressed I noticed this glistening in mama’s eyes. I could feel when she was happy. I knew it was something much bigger to her than it was to me. It was life changing and life saving to her. To me it was simply my mama.
Mama was a single mom with two kids she raised alone. She at one point worked two jobs to support us and give us the necessities in life. I’ve always admired her strength and refusal to ever give up. Anyone with a transgendered parent probably knows the strength I’m talking about. The drive, the passion that rooted deep down in her heart and in her soul was truly something to envy.
As I went through my teen years, I rebelled and I became a ‘wild child’ but I never lost respect for mama. She took my hand and directed me through life. She held the answers to all of my questions and those questions I hadn’t even thought to ask yet. It may be surprising to some, but she was really just an ordinary mom who did ordinary mom things. No one questioned her, no one thought she looked odd or out of place. Aside from the fact that she’s the most beautiful woman I know, her confidence really helped. I accepted her new identity and she ran with it. She ran and frolicked and had more fun and was more happy than any person I’d ever met in my life.
Dreams are just that, they are dreams. Instead of dreaming — set goals. She could have dreamed all night long about her transition. Instead she made a goal and she reached it. She surpassed it. She went from being an amazing father to be an amazing mother and never skipped a beat. Single parent, two jobs, gender transition and two children who love her more than all the stars in the sky. I’d say she did it her way and we all came out on top. We remain very close to this day.
Happiness has nothing to do with your gender, it has only to do with the love and support you receive and your attitude toward the issue. “Instead of finding problems, find solutions.” Words she still says to me to this day.
~ a loving child of a transgender mother