Connie Anne Spry
Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
1947 – May 2005
Connie Anne Spry (Chrysalis) originally posted these question and answers on her “Another Waye” website and contributed generously to TGGuide.com. After fiercely battling persistent illnesses, she passed away peacefully in her sleep on May 25, 2005. She served two tours in the Vietnam War in the Marine Corps. She was an active leader of her local church, an uncompromising advocate for GLBT rights, and the epitome of unconditional love. She was a mother, friend, and sister to many, and will be missed very much.
U.S. Library of Congress Connie Anne Spry Collection Military service record and audio recording of Connie describing her time in the Marine Corps, combat in Vietnam and eventual acceptance of her true self.
Connie Anne Spry Biography
Connie provided the following autobiographical information to explain her journey.
Chrysalis: Who Am I? That can be a very difficult question to answer, especially if you knew me 30 or 40 years ago. I do not believe that you would recognize the grandmotherly person that I have become. Since I started life trying to fit into a mold that did not fit, and believe me I tried very hard to fit in. Two marriages later and several suicide attempts made me realize that the person inside who had struggled so long under the burden of trying to be something that she wasn’t, deserved a chance to live.
Transition to Become Chrysalis
So after years of anguish, after raising a family, after going through more jobs than would seem possible C*** became Chrysalis. Not an easy thing to do believe me, especially after surviving nearly 9 years in the Marine Corps, two tours of duty with combat units in Viet Nam, alcohol and drug abuse. But at the tender age of 40, when most people are well into their careers and making plans for retirement, I began the transition from the male world to the female world where I belonged.
The next 14 years were filled with pain and joy, confusion and direction. I have become a reasonably well adjusted middle aged female in body, dress, lifestyle and manner. But most importantly I no longer have to battle myself on a daily basis to make it through the day. Thoughts of alcohol and drug abuse are a thing of the past, although I do continue to battle clinical depression with all of its related symptoms. For the first time in my life I find I am able to make friends and socialize without fear of making a blunder that would reveal the inner me.
Societal Misunderstanding
The vast majority of society at large does not understand me or my Transgendered sisters and brothers either due to lack of knowledge of the subject, bigotry towards anything that does not fit into their tiny concept of what is right and wrong or the refusal to accept the possibility that there are real people in this world just like me.
Hopefully those that stop by and check out some of the links here will learn about us and gain a little understanding of our situation. Not one Transgendered person that I have met would want their worst enemy to go through the discrimination and emotional abuse that we are forced to deal with on a daily basis. Believe me this is NOT a choice, no one would willingly subject themselves to the hate, misunderstanding, emotional & physical abuse and fear that surrounds the Transgendered Community. More and more evidence is coming forth that supports a physiological basis for this “condition”.
Connie Anne Spry’s Chrysalis Trans Q&A
A common thread throughout the community is looking for answers to the multitude of questions that plague us and bedevil our lives. While nobody has all the answers, sometimes we do have insights. Since the very best answers are those we find for ourselves, this is not strictly an advice column. Nor are we by any means experts or certified professionals. What we are, are people like yourself. We’ve searched for answers, and occasionally found some. Our goal here is to share our insights with you, to perhaps show you a perspective that you may not have seen, and thereby gain your own answer. Since many questions tend to follow common threads amongst the transgender community, we will address those questions first. If you have a question you are seeking answers to, by all means contact us. While we may not be able to respond directly to every inquiry, we will whenever possible attempt to help in any way we can. PLEASE send any questions you may have from the serious to the frivolous, transgender related or not to: Q&A Your questions are what will make this column worthwhile.
Connie Anne Spry: This is An Advice Column
NOTE: I am not qualified, nor do I have the resources to answer medically specific questions. Nor is this the source to look for charting YOUR medical and treatment needs. Those questions are best dealt with by working together with your Doctors and Therapist. This is an ADVICE column. The answers are only my opinion, based on my own experience and the best information available to me.
TGGuide.com Editorial Note
Please remember that Chrysalis transitioned at a time when the term transgender was not well known or understood. Connie Anne Spry was a pioneer who helped pave the path for many trans people who would follow.
Chrysalis Transgender Questions & Answers
1999 – 2001 Questions and Answers by Connie Anne Spry
Gender Reassignment Costs Covered by Private Health Insurance
Q. My name is xxx and I am doing a little research for a friend that does not have access to the internet. He is looking for information for personal use and also for the job that he is currently employed in. My main question to you in the cost that are involved and also the benefits that may be entitled from being a member of private health insurance. It is a very grey area, particularly when you contact the funds directly as it is not a talked about subject. Also classifications that are made as to whether it is ‘medically necessary’ operation or not.
Any additional information that you may have on the topic would be greatly appreciated, also any other people that you would know of that we could get in contact with to discuss the issue. Lastly I would like to thank you for telling your story over the web page, hopefully the information that I can get from yourself and other sources will be greatly appreciated and helpful to my good friend.
I guess both of us being gay males around the age of 22, I was having a little trouble understanding exactly what he was going through and why he would want to change himself, but after many late-night discussions and lots of reading, I now understand that it is not a choice or a decision, it is just meant to be. I am looking forward to your reply, and once again thank you for the information that you have shared on the website.. Kind Regards
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. If I understand correctly, you are looking for information on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and Gender/Sex Reassignment Surgery (GRS/SRS) and if the costs are covered by private health insurance.
First, HRT will cost $100.00 US a month or more depending on your source of drugs and may be covered by health insurance if the physician justifies it as correcting a hormonal imbalance rather than treatment for transsexualism. I am not familiar with how the health insurance programs of countries other than the US might handle such a claim.
Next, GRS/SRS costs range from about $7000.00 US to more than $20.000 US depending which surgeon you chose and exactly which procedures you want performed. The cost of the surgery is generally required in full prior the surgical date. At present I do not know of any private insurance that covers these costs. Although there have been some changes initiated by a number larger municipalities to cover these costs as part or their employee health benefits, by and large this cost is still born by the individual.
Note, the costs listed for the GRS/SRS do NOT include travel, food or lodging which is not covered by any medical plan that I am aware of.
As far as “medical necessity” again that will depend upon how the attending physician writes the claim up, worded properly and with conviction there should be no difficulty in establishing the necessity of the procedures. Care must be take by the physician to leave absolutely no loopholes in the justification since experience has shown that private health insurers will try to find any excuse possible NOT to make payment.
Further information on costs may be obtained from several of the sources listed in the Linkbook here at Another Waye, several Surgeons and other Medical Doctor’s have their sites listed in the Support and Professional Services section.
I am sorry that I do not have more information on the costs and all in Australia, hopefully what I have given you will be of some benefit to your friend on his/her journey.
Chrysalis
Female to Male Hormones Cost Estimate
Q. I am an 18 F2M. I am just starting out with therapy, and have been living as a male for a year. I am starting college this year as a male, in the male dorms, the whole nine yards. I have a great therapist, good friends and a wonderfully supportive girlfriend…but i am worried about the financial strain of transitioning. Hormones are my first step and hopefully that will be within 3 to 4 months. I have no idea how much they cost. Can you give me an estimate? I have to pay for college, and my parents are not too willing to shell out the money for surguries and/or hormones. But I need them. I have had 18 years of HECK! I am not going to wait much longer.?
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. Congratulations; it seems that you have done some serious planning for the future. I am not certain of the cost of male hormones but if it is anywhere near that of estrogen you should budget about a $100.00 or more per month for the cost of them. Shop around until you find a pharmacy that you feel will give you the best price. If your doctor is willing to teach you how to inject the hormone you could save the cost of an office visit each time you are due for a shot.
Good Luck on your journey and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Chrysalis
Fear of Seeking Therapy
Q. Hey, I have a question for you. I am 24, like a bunch of other people who asked you questions. I took herbal hormones for about 9 months, then I started using estradiol without the supervision of a doctor for over a month. I realized that it was dangerous and I should seek a doctor. I think I have found a good therapist to see that can also refer me to an endo doc. My problem is though, I am scared to go see the therapist. I know I am transsexual, but I am scared to do anything about it. It tears me up inside and I try to deny it everyday, but I really can’t anymore. I really know who I am, I am worried about doing what my heart really thinks I should. I don’t know why. I go to bed at night scared of being so masculine, and 5’11 150lbs.. knowing I could easily see a therapist and get anti-androgens and estrogen prescribed to me legally to stop anything else from happening. I don’t know why I won’t go to see the therapist I have found though. I really want to, I just cant find the courage to do it yet. I don’t know how to handle the pressure in my mind, otherwise I would go tomorrow. I don’t know what to do!!!
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. The easy answer of course is to just tell you to GO! But somehow I don’t think that is what you want to hear just yet. If you have found a therapist in your area then there should also be some support group activity close by. And even if there is no formal support group to go to have you told a friend or a confidant of your feelings and desires? Sometimes just talking it out with an understanding friend will allow you to build up your courage so to speak. You know that unsupervised use of estrogens is just like playing roulette with your life. Try to find someone that you trust and can talk to about your issues and who would be willing to go with you to that initial appointment. There is nothing wrong with taking an understanding and caring friend with you when you take those first steps.
Good luck on your journey and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Chrysalis
Seeking Florida Support Group
Q. Hi Chrysalis, I have been crossdressing since I was 10 years old but always been kept in the closet. I have recently decided I wanted to experience my feminine side more often. I live in Florida with my family. We have been together for xx years I love my wife but she will accept my dressing up as long it is not in front of her she does let me wear nightgowns and panties. I understand why she is afraid neighbors will find out about me.
My question is whether there any support groups that I can talk to who will understand me I am 47 years old now and I know my feminism will never go away my son also knows I dress up and he has asked why of course but he understands now and said ‘it was ok with him. I also have my mother living with us and she knows I wear nightgowns to bed every night but she doesn’t know about my dressing up and I want her to accept me as another daughter she has two now my sisters. both my sisters know about me my oldest disapproves but younger sister thinks its ok since she is the one that knew what I did all these years she helped me by giving me some of her clothes and underwear we also played together when we could be alone I played with her dolls a lot she also gave me my name. I hope you will respond to my e-mail and give me some suggestions thank you
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. Not knowing exactly what part of Florida that you live here is a list of Tri-ESS Chapters that may be able to provide the kind of support that you are looking for or at least give you additional resources in your area:
GAMMA CHI BETA
8660 College Pkwy., Ste 230
Ft. Myers, FL 33919
Miami, FL Metro Area
MU BETA GAMMA
P.O. Box 248472
Coral Gables, FL 33124
Orlando, FL Metro Area
PHI EPSILON MU
P.O. Box 3261
Winter Park, FL 32790
You may also what to check the support groups directory at TGGuide.com for other groups in your area. Good luck on your journey and remember ‘You Are NOT Alone’.
Chrysalis
Gender Reassignment Surgeons
Question: I was wondering in you would be willing to talk to me about going through the change. I’m 24 and on hormones for about 2 months. I’m having a hard time deciding who to choose for the procedure my Doctor got me info from Menard in Canada. My Doctor only knows so much so if you would be willing to help me that would be great!
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. Dr Anne Lawrence has an excellent site with up-to-date information on hormone therapy and has links to several surgeons. I understand about the difficulty in choosing a surgeon, we all want the most for our money and with the surgery ranging from $7,000.00 to $20,000.00 and more one has to weigh all the options. My recommendation would be to investigate several surgeons and their results then choose. Surgeons with long waiting lists general have cancellations for one reason or another so although a patient may have been scheduled for sometime 12 to 18 months in the future, if they are flexible they can conceivably achieve their surgery within 3 to 6 months from the time the initial appointment was scheduled. Also the reputable surgeons will require the one year RLT so you have plenty of time to make your final choice.
As far as the hormones follow you doctor’s instructions to the letter and try not to become impatient for visible result. Playing with hormones in an unsupervised and reckless manner can be extremely hazardous to your health ( read it can kill you! ). Dr Anne Lawrence has a FAQ sheet for physicians on recommended drugs and dosages to use when treat TS patients, if your doctor is unsure of dosages etc. it would be an excellent document to get for him/her. Additionally Dr Lawrence does telephone consultations if anyone has any questions.
Good luck on your journey and keep me informed as to your progress.
Chrysalis
How to Label Myself
Question: I am having trouble labeling myself and also wondering if I should. what I do know is that I was born male, I am 24 years old and that I am bisexual and a cross-dresser. I always assumed that I was a transvestite, but then I started reading books on the subject, which gave descriptions of what it was to be transgendered, transvestite, transsexual, and drag queens. what I found out from reading those is that I am not seemingly any of those, but I seem to have some aspects of a few different ones all jumbled together.
I’d like to know your opinion on that (or if you think that I shouldn’t label myself, but just go with it.) and also I have been trying to come out recently, parts have been ok but others have been hard, my family doesn’t know yet, but a few of my friends do. How did you go about dealing with you family
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. Labels cause much more trouble than anything else. Of course this is my opinion, but after 50+ years on this earth I am more convinced of that one fact than ever. Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, Transgender, Crossdresser, Transvestite, Drag King/Queen, Transsexual — all labels put on various segments of society either by themselves or others. In ‘Man’s’ (as in human race) seemingly need to compartmentalize or label everything and everyone the only thing that is clear is that it is an attempt by one individual or group to feel better about themselves by placing those that do not meet the preconceived conditions of a particular group into a separate group and “labeled” usually in a manner that casts a negative light on those being labeled.
But that does not really address your question, if the confusion that you are experiencing by these various labels is causing you distress in your self identity, then I would suggest that you find a professional counselor/therapist that is familiar with gender identity issues and enlist their aid. An experienced therapist will be able to help you find the answers that you seek in the safest possible atmosphere. S/he would also be able to help you sort through the various and sundry meanings of the various labels that are causing you the concerns. Characteristics of individuals in a specific ‘category’ (label) are not hard and fast, in fact they are very fluid and may in fact overlap several ‘categories’.
Coming out!
Coming Out! The first big step in self identification and acceptance, probably the hardest single step on this wonderful journey that we all travel called life. Not knowing your exact circumstances, where you live, type of community, family relationship, etc., makes it very difficult to give specific advice, however, some general things you should consider. Try to approach the subject in a matter of fact manner and in very general terms. Try to find out the individuals feelings about alternative lifestyles, i.e. bisexuality, transgenderism, without out specifically referring to yourself. If there is a local PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians And Gays) Group in your area you may want to contact them for assistance dealing with friends and family. There are several links in the Linkbook at Another Waye that may give you articles that may help you also. In my own experience, both of my parents were deceased when I came out, additionally I had been estranged from my brother and sister for a number of years, as a result my brother totally disowned me and my sister has only recently resumed contact with me.
The one thing to remember above all else is “the Creator LOVES you just exactly where you are and has loved you from the very moment of creation.” You were not created to hate yourself or for others to hate you. And most important of all; YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Physician Supervision of Hormone Therapy
Question: I’m an 18 year old f2m and I have many questions. First of all I wanted to know if you think that I have to talk to a doctor to go under male hormones, and if the answer is yes, then if you can give me some names (possibly in Italy, or in Va.). Then I’d also like to know about all the doctors I’ll need (breast reconstruction, etc.) and their fees, more or less. I have been looking for everything you would need to have before you had the surgery, and more. I have searched the Web for ages with no luck at all (mostly I’ve found m2f sites- unlucky me!). I would be very happy if you could send me info on what I need and some price’s on female to male surgeries in or around Virginia. If you have information on Italian surgery (north Italy), I would be very glad as well. Do you have any good ideas on how to hide my breast (without it hurting so much- I tie it up real hard) and look more like a boy? Thank you, Received November 2, 2000
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. Yes, you must definitely see a physician before using male hormones. To self-medicate when it comes to hormones is playing ‘Russian Roulette’ with your life. They are extremely powerful drugs and the unsupervised use of them can be very dangerous. In order to protect yourself and ensure the eventual success of your transition, you really need to obtain and follow the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. This document may be found on nearly any web-site that deals with Transgender/Transsexual issues, it is in our Library.
Some of the surgeries that you need to consider are a bi-lateral mastectomy (breast removal and reconstruction) this can be done by any qualified surgeon and can possibly be covered by medical insurance if justification can be found for the procedure due to a familial history of Breast Cancer. The cost of this surgery can vary tremendously depending upon the size of your breasts and the individual surgeon, a reasonable estimate would be in the 3 to 8 thousand dollar range. Next would be a complete hysterectomy and bi-lateral orphorectomy (removal of the uterus and ovaries), again this can be done by any qualified gynecological surgeon and again may possibly be covered by medical insurance if justified on the basis of familial history of cervical or ovarian cancer. Again a reasonable estimate would be in the 3 to 5 thousand dollar range.
Finally would be the construction of a penis (phalloplasty) which conceivably could consist of multiple surgeries to obtain the desired result. This should only be done by a reputable plastic surgeon experienced in the procedure. Cost for this operation or series of operations can easily reach the $25,000 and above range depending upon the number of surgeries needed and any complications that may arise.
FtM Information Resources
I do not know of any surgeons in Virginia or Italy that are currently doing this type of SRS/GRS procedures. One source of information dealing with FtM Transsexuals is the TransMan Project (now defunct) or the FtM Informational Network (also defunct) both of these sites should be able to steer you to specific information concerning your issues.
In order to minimize your breasts, binding with an ACE wrap and wearing loose shirts are about the best ways short of surgery to deal with that situation.
Good luck on your journey
Chrysalis
Transplanting Female Organs
Q. Why can’t a surgeon transplant all female organs into a male body
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. The eternal question and dream of the transsexual. Although the technical skills are probably available to handle the operation itself, there are so many other things that have to be taken into consideration. Not the least of which is that the male pelvis is not designed to handle child birth, so that would have to be modified to do so, read “broken and expanded to allow passage of at the very least a large grapefruit or a medium sized cantaloupe”. That in and of itself would be a major undertaking requiring at least 2 months of recovery before any of the other procedures could be done.
Another consideration is something called tissue/blood compatibility/matching, as difficult as it is to find donors for other organs and the relatively few that are successfully matched the probability of finding a donor drops significantly. Along with the tissue and blood match goes the anti-rejection therapy drugs that would probably become a lifetime necessity.
A third and probably very significant thing to consider is there any qualified surgeon in the world that would attempt such a feat?? With the litigation minded society that we live in today it is hard enough for these doctors to get malpractice insurance for the generally accepted surgeries, I would imagine that finding a company to cover complete female to male reproductive transplant would be less than slim to none.
Then of course there is the slight matter of cost. Not being a medical professional nor a hospital CEO, I can only guess that the cost of such an operation would run in the high six figure bracket. Couple that with the fact that as with all other SRS/GRS surgery payment would be expected in full in advance you would have to be a multi-millionaire to even consider such an undertaking.
Medical science has made tremendous strides in surgery and treatment of a lot of major diseases/disorders/illnesses but I do not foresee this type of an operation feasible for many many years if ever.
You must understand, that I am not a medical professional, but only a reasonably well informed member of society and that these are by no means all of the obstacles that stand in the way of such a procedure. These are but a few of the interesting situations that came to mind as I thought about your question.
Trying to Understand Trans Partner
Question: I am a 44 y/o, divorced, heterosexual female, dating a man for the past 6 months who recently reveals he is taking female hormones. He/we had incorporated some crossdressing items for him during our sexual experiences, but he had said it was a fetish only. He has “gender dysphoria” which I’m am eagerly learning about. But I’m not sure of how to manage this. I’m wondering if statistically men who have this strong feminine side, (which is full of those wonderful qualities of kindness, sensitivity, compassion, ect) are actually most sexually attracted to other men?
I now find those crossdressing experiences as having much more meaning, and I’m finding them not to be arousing to me anymore. And yet, I want him to be happy, and express himself in a way he finds fulfilling. Would I be insensitive to tell him I’m not comfortable with the cross dressing now? I don’t want him to feel rejected, as this must have been very difficult for him to share. I respect and love him very much.
Are most heterosexual couples actually able to negotiate this into their relationship? Is there a chance he’s not fully aware of his possible leanings toward being sexual with men? He finds the pictures of men with breasts very arousing. Please share any counsel you can, as I will be forever grateful. Any internet sites dealing with females involved with men who have sexual dysphoria? Thank you very much- Received October 1, 2000
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. Thank you for your questions, although I am not a professional I shall endeavor to attempt to help within the scope of my experience. First of all, the two of you must indeed have a special relationship, since apparently s/he has been open enough to share his feelings about himself with you. Unfortunately, a very large number of individuals do not either accept themselves and their feelings and as a result conceal them (their feelings) from any and all that come into contact with them; or try to hide in the other extreme of being an effeminate homosexual male. Your friend does seem to be attempting to deal with the “dysphoria” issues, even if only to the point of admitting to “a fetish”.
You state that s/he has “gender dysphoria” which immediately brings to mind the question: Is s/he receiving professional counseling? Or is s/he attempting to deal with this alone? I am happy to hear that you are trying to learn more on the subject since knowledge is the key to dealing with this situation. We have several articles in the Library at TGGuide that may offer additional insight into the subject. Additionally, Dr. Anne Lawrence (URL http://www.annelawrence.com/twr ) has a lot of information on her site dealing both with Hormone Replacement Therapy and the subject in general as does Dr. Rebecca Allison.
As far as being attracted to men, that is and always has been one of the most immediate concerns of the spouse, partner, significant other and is also one of the most difficult to answer. Although some Transsexuals are indeed strongly attracted to men that is not a hard and fast rule. As with the rest of society the sexual orientation in the T-Community covers the entire spectrum. I can only use myself as an example; I am a male to female transsexual that identifies as a lesbian, which if taken in the context of general society would mean that I am a woman attracted to women. However, because I was born with the body of a male, society views my relationships as heterosexual. A transsexual again male to female who is attracted to men would view themselves as heterosexual while at the same time society would view such relationships as homosexual. I hope that does not confuse you to badly, it is a difficult concept to understand if one does not have any knowledge of the T-Community and the workings thereof.
Would you be insensitive to express your concern to your partner? Of course not. And s/he should be as understanding of your feelings as you are of hers/his. By suppressing your concerns the only thing that you will accomplish is to put the both of you under a lot of unnecessary stress. As long as the concerns of both of you are expressed in a non-threatening supportive manner a reasonable and equitable solution should be achieved.
As far as a couple working through this type of situation, it can and does happen with very positive results. It takes a willingness on the part of both parties to be open and approachable on the subject. It takes an unconditional love of your partner and a commitment to each other that is able to withstand the preconceived judgments of a, for the most part, ignorant and bigoted society. I know several couples personally that have worked through the gender issues of one of the partners and they have remained together and in the case of those with children are raising them as joint ‘parents’ rather than the traditional ‘mother & father’ parenting that is considered the norm in today’s society.
As far as her/his feeling for other men, s/he may indeed not be fully aware of her/his feelings in that direction, since your friend is taking hormones, it may be to the point that s/he is experiencing all the confusion and conflict associated with puberty. This may sound like a far fetched idea but it is never the less true.
There are several sources of support for women involved with members of the T-Community. We have a Message Board here at TGGuide.
Information on Hormones
Q. My psychologist is ready to recommend I start hormones, but first I need full information on the subject. Where can I find information? Response by Chrysalis
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. There are several articles on hormones and hormone replacement therapy in our Library. In addition, Dr. Anne Lawrence http://www.annelawrence.com/twr has several excellent fact sheets and articles at her site, “The TransWoman Resources” Page.
Diversity Questionnaire
Question: We are trying to create a diversity questionnaire for our company. We did a pilot of the survey and listed male, female, and transgender under the gender category. Someone objected to the inclusion of transgender saying that it isn’t a gender. Do you have any information, thoughts on this question? Received September 14, 2000
Answered by Connie Anne Spry ‘Chrysalis’
A. Thank you for your inquiry. The question posed has no absolute answer, speak to a dozen members of the Transgender Community and you will get a dozen different and equally valid answers. The term transgender in and of itself is used in several different connotations.
First as a term to describe a segment of society, i.e. the Transgender Community; which in fact covers all conceivable forms of gender expression from Heterosexual Cross Dressers to Drag King/Queens to Non-/Pre-/Post-Operative Transsexuals and everything in between.
Second it is used describe a specific sub-group within the T-Community, i.e. an individual who lives and works full time in the gender opposite of their physical sex as determined by external genitalia. These individuals may or may not seek hormone replacement therapy and generally do not seek surgical intervention.
Within the Transgender Community the terms MtF (male to female) and FtM (female to male) are used to differentiate the genders. However even this is not standard as those individuals who are Transsexual identify fully and completely within the bi-gender standards that is generally accepted throughout society. In fact most Post-Operative Transsexuals do their best to fade into the woodwork as it were since they now appear without question to belong to their appropriate gender.
Unless, this survey is being used for a dissertation on the subject of Transgenderism, any choices beyond male and female would lead to potential problems in the area of discrimination and would also invalidate the data since the majority of the people within the Transgendered Community self-identify according to their mental image of themselves regardless of the physical appearances. The concept of gender and sex for the vast majority of the population at large is gender equals physical sex, cut and dried. This however is NOT true. Gender is one’s self-perception of their self without regard to physical manifestations. Sex is the actual physical manifestations that are readily visible. As one of my contemporaries put it “Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs and never the two shall meet”. In the majority of the population, gender and sex match in the individual which has been designated rightly or wrongly ‘normal male or female’, while in the transgendered individuals the gender (self identity) and sex (physical appearance) are in conflict.
I hope that this has helped, it is a very difficult subject to explain especially in the short context of a survey. The combinations of self identity are almost limitless and no matter how the questions are constructed beyond the simple ‘female’ or ‘male’ answers the less valid and more confusing will be the results.
Connie Anne Spry’s POW – MIA Statement
There are still over 2000 Americans missing from the War in Viet Nam, they must not be forgotten! They along with their brothers from Korea and the other wars of our past did not want to leave their parents, wives, husbands, siblings and children not knowing what had become of their loved ones. But unless we continue to keep the issues of their whereabouts in front of the politicians that run this country their fate will forever be a mystery and we as a country will have failed them.
POW – MIA Vietnam Veterans
Below are the names of five of these heroes. They all were lost on the same June day of 1967 and to date none of them nor their remains have been returned to their loved ones for the closure that each one who served or who had loved ones serve so desperately need.
Take a moment and read about the incidents surrounding their loss then take another minute or two and write your congressman, your senator and yes the President and Vice-President of the United States asking, NO DEMANDING to know what is being done to bring these men or their remains home.
TGGuide Editor’s Note
Connie’s hope that these service members would be recovered, was not in vain. Four of the five have been accounted for. See the notes and links below.
Captain Steven Paul Hanson USMC (Accounted for 6/12/2000)
1st Lieutenant John Garrett Gardner USMC (Accounted for 6/12/2000)
Sergeant Timothy Roy Bodden USMC (Accounted for 6/12/2000)
Sergeant First Class Ronald James Dexter USA (Remains unaccounted for)
Sergeant First Class Billy Ray Laney USA (Accounted for 6/12/2000)
Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA)
Connie was a founding member and strong supporter of Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA).