Passing Privilege and the Patriarchy, As a Trans Man

Passing Privilege and the Patriarchy, As a Trans Man (by Hudson Isaiah Strange, He/Him). Each day, I find myself delving further into the analysis of social perception and structured, systematic oppression. Speaking as someone born and raised as a female in the United States, I have been able to witness the patriarchy working in full force. From the president to household leadership, and even the depiction of ‘god’, male role models and leaders have always been upfront and embedded in the American way of life.

I was raised to believe that being a woman will always be seen as lesser or second best. Something that should be set aside as plan B. It has taken years of fighting for women to gain the rights and privileges that men have withheld for so long. Unfortunately, (or intentionally), that kind of system has brought forth a society that oppresses and harms its women. I was raised in that kind of fear of existing. Far before I knew the dangers of being transgender, I knew the dangers of being a woman.

The Patriarchy Fights to Hold It’s Power

Through intimidation and violence, the patriarchy fights to hold its power. Every day, we see more and more violence towards women. With administrative and executive blocks within the government that take away bodily autonomy, basic rights, and for millions of people, the right to vote, it is becoming harder and harder to fight for equity. We see judges letting rapists and abusers free just because of fact they are men. With the excuse being “he has such a bright future”.

Our streets and cities are infested with men who mean harm, and we have a judicial system that will back them. Time after time, men are justified and pitied when faced with the consequences of their purely selfish crimes. This is a system that festers hatred and fear.

Patriarchal Expectations of Women

In the workplace, most women face wage gaps and fewer opportunities. From physical discrimination to assumptions on intelligence that lead to fewer promotions, there is no safe space. Sexual harassment runs rampant, underreported, and unpunished. There are fewer opportunities for employment and less compensation for doing the same job as a man. Their opinions are pushed down, and their ideas are stolen.

Women are expected to be submissive in both the home and workplace. Doing the ‘invisible’ work, like keeping a house tidy and clothes clean. They are not recognized for the hard work and immense amounts of effort put into their deeds. The responsibility of raising children is often put solely on women. There is no bigger gap in labor and rest than in the home of a man.

Men Respect Other Men

Men respect other men. I have never experienced so much unearned respect as I have while presenting masculine. I no longer turn around with worry at the store when I’m approached. I believe that this is because I am no longer recognized as less than them. I’m no longer seen as a target. In the workplace, I feel secure. I no longer feel the anxiety of being replaced ‘because a man could do better’. I see my male colleagues looking after each other in ways that never include our women coworkers, giving a heads up and offering encouragement. So many aspects of community are freely offered to men, whereas they must be earned by a woman.

No Safe Spaces for Women

These things I have lived. Before I transitioned into a man, I lived and worked as a woman. One thing that holds close to my heart is the fact that during that time, there were no safe spaces. No place for me to express my opinions and successes without being downplayed or dismissed by a man. No place for me to rest without the fear of assault or harassment. Not a breakroom, not the workplace, not at school, not in public, and not at home. This is the work of years of systematic oppression. Not just the result, but the intention. It was made to enforce upon women and girls the role of the silent and submissive servant.

Misogyny Runs Deep

Over the last 3 years, I have publicly transitioned. I am confidant enough to say that I pass as a cisgendered man. I say this because I can live my life so differently, so much more freely. I see it in the subtle changes in behavior in the people around me, and in those changes, I see their prejudices. I see the men at work asking me for my opinion when before they never bothered. I see the understanding in their eyes when I say I don’t understand something, and instead of saying it’s too difficult or long to explain, they offer up an explanation with a smile.

But it’s also what I don’t see. I don’t see their eyes linger on my body when I talk. I don’t see them cross the street at night just to walk past me. It’s the lack of cat calls and unprovoked sexual comments. It’s the fact that my political opinion is respected and valued. These are the people I have lived around my entire life. With every slight and every change, I see where they draw the line. I see where their respect ends. In a system that tells them they are untouchable, they live that truth. Misogyny runs deep in our country. Every time a woman is infantilized, every time the system that men built hurts someone that’s not them, and every time a man gets away with discrimination, we are reminded of the battle still left to fight.

Small Injustices Add Up

It’s not just the active actions and decisions that bring us down. It’s passive tendencies that we have gotten far too comfortable with. I see more today than I ever have. Because I have the experience to look back on. These small injustices add up to so much. I’ve had coworkers recommend things and, in the same breath, tell the lady I worked with it was too hard for her, all the while she had more experience in the role than I did. I was given more time to learn and mess up because of the expectation that I would be good; she was not given that luxury.

Women fill more service roles and ‘low-skilled’ positions because they are often not given the chance to do more. We hear about self-made women in business because of their hard work, despite a workforce that didn’t let them succeed. They are made to work harder to get less. Less wages, less recognition, and less security.

I Learned to Fight By Being a Woman First

I feel passing as a man has brought me safety and security in ways I didn’t think existed. The gap that was closed should never have been opened. I feel privileged when walking in the streets to not feeling the anxiety of being objectified and hunted. When shopping and when having conversations, there has not been a single aspect of my life that hasn’t shed light on the ingrained misogyny and blatant male supremacy in America. I feel disgusted by the fact that I’m treated better because I have a deep voice and facial hair. It’s times like these I like to remind folks that we are everywhere, and we see your actions.

I didn’t learn to fight through struggle by being transgender. I’ve learned by being a woman first. I no longer identify with that part of my past, but that is my story. Through hardship and indifference, generations of women and girls have fought through it all. Today, that fight still goes on, and though I am receiving the benefits of others’ prejudices through small kindnesses, I will not stop calling out the difference and fighting for the equality and recognition that women deserve. I lived the hardship, I saw the hatred, I will stand alongside my community and press for a greater future.

Changes Start Here!

Change starts with recognition. It’s not just a rigged system, it’s ingrained in our behavior and perceptions. It starts with questioning our norms. Today, we have so much hate that is encouraged by our country’s leaders. It is our job to fight against that wave. Issues like passing privilege lend a hand to other injustices like sexism, ableism, and racism. These are all things we deal with, and each and every one of them is rooted in hatred.

The course to make change starts with recognizing where we are. The next step is to call it out and take action. No revolution has ever been won by passive movements. Changes start in the workplace, in the house, in school, and anywhere a voice can be heard. My experiences leave me in a place of unique position. I see the growth of male power in today’s leadership and the silencing of women’s voices. I see the blind eye that gets turned in the name of tradition, and today I am choosing to be loud.

Hudson Isaiah Strange, He/Him | Facebook Profile Page
Guest contributing author to TGGuide.com